Pop Quiz: What's the football version of a perfect game?

Most of you who read my column are heading to the playoffs (haha, I'm kidding), and you need a perfect game out of your team. And though it's likely your quarterback won't be the one to set the bar no other NFL QB has set, you can always hope.

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A QB's Perfect Game

I found myself thinking of that when Derek Carr stared down the Buffalo Bills on Sunday afternoon, and couldn't miss in the fourth quarter. Mind you, Carr hasn't been perfect in the last quarter of every game in 2016, but his QBR is 120.8.

A bit of quick research showed me that unlike Major League Baseball, where a perfect game is.... quite literally perfect, the NFL doesn't have any perfect game holder. A "perfect game" for a quarterback requires a 158.3 rating, the highest QBR a quarterback can achieve. The record for completion percentage is held by Kurt Warner, going 24-for-26 (though there's also an interesting story about Alex Smith technically having some small claim to the title as well.)

It's actually one of the few amazing things left in the NFL. Despite 23 major league pitchers being held accountable for every single pitch they've thrown, no NFL quarterback has gone 20-for-20 (or more.) Not Tom Brady. Not Peyton Manning. Not Broadway Joe, or Joe Montana. For all the amazing quarterback performances we've seen through the years, and you can think of three or four off the top of your head that still give you a funny grin, there's never been that QB who has put all twenty balls in the bread basket.

It may be the last thing in the NFL Hall of Fame that doesn't have a picture or a name attributed to it. We'll see it in our lifetime, almost certainly, because in a game that increasingly favors the QB, it's only a matter of time. What a fantastic thing to be able to witness, and with any luck, it'll be the QB on your team. Or much more likely, your most hated rival's team.

 

Running Back

Carlos Hyde will either be on my bench or will ruin my week.

A quick count would probably show that Carlos Hyde ends up in the "Hell no!" column for guys I recommend not starting week after week. Carlos Hyde is technically a top-20 RB in PPR leagues, but he's had a funny way of earning that distinction; no touchdowns since week 5, and he's only topped 20 carries once since the bye week. The Jets, for all their struggles, have not exactly let RB run all over them this year, only surrendering one multi-touchdown game to offensive backfields in 2016. Hyde might be a tempting flex option if you're stacked and are rolling into the playoffs, but resist him if you can.

Dear Lamar Miller, do you like like me? I like like you this week.

If you spent a first-round pick on Miller, odds are.... well, you aren't in the playoffs, or at the very least just edged into the match-up. But if you've survived despite Miller, this could be a really interesting week to see if the RB can break out just one more time. Lamar's best game in 2016 was against the same Indianapolis Colts defense he's seeing this Sunday, and even though they'll be in Indianapolis instead of Houston, Miller should be fully healthy this week, commanding over twenty touches and a very attractive flex option (or.... if you're really bored... RB2.)

Am I going to really start Rex Burkhead in Week 14? (less than 10% of leagues)

I've been writing this column for enough weeks now that I've earned this moment. No. Don't start Burkhead.

There are no RBs in Week 14 with such a low ownership rate that also have potential upside, Burkhead arguably being the best choice among them. Despite a few impressive showings, Burkhead is just a change-of-pace guy who never gets a goal-to-go opportunity.

My first "No" to this question in 2016. I'm very impressed with myself.

 

Wide Receiver

Don't hand me my money back, I'm going double-or-nothing on Tyrell Williams. 

Tyrell Williams is one of those guys I would absolutely trade for in a keeper league; the talented WR is only 24, and this year is a top-20 PPR WR and yet there isn't a lot of buzz on him. Williams has four straight weeks of touchdowns, facing a team who gave up nearly that many last week alone to the Seahawks (technically on the ground, but still.) The Chargers are traveling for this game, but Williams is legitimately talented enough that he's got a shot at his first multi-touchdown game.

I will be discarding my Mike Wallace and replacing him with two cards from the deck

Remember when we had to start Mike Wallace in the beginning of the year? The receiver had a breakout start on his new team but now that Steve Smith is completely healthy he's gone quiet. No touchdowns since Week 9, and no more than six receptions since the bye. Wallace may see a fluke score in garbage time mode, but he's not reliable in a crucial week such as this.

I am out of options, and will be swiping right on Tyler Boyd (owned in less than 40% of leagues)

I've had a lot of people this week ask me my pick between two guys, and Boyd's name keeps popping up. What's there not to like about Tyler Boyd right now? He's targeted on 24 percent of his routes, though the number of receptions is a bit concerning. He's facing the Cleveland Browns, who have been Swiss cheese through the air, and I like his chances to get at least five targets, 50+ yards and a touchdown, which is a very reliable fantasy day for a flex play.

 

Tight End

Parachute? I don't need no parachute, I have Cameron Brate

Man I was wrong on Brate last week; I thought he was going to be ignored in the red zone vs a team traditionally good against TEs. Neither of these things happened, and Brate faces a much easier match-up defensively against the Saints. My apologies to Brate, and to fantasy owners who sat him on my recommendation.

Don't cry kids! We will bury Dennis Pitta in the yard

Fun fact: Dennis Pitta scored as many touchdowns in Week 13 as the New England Patriots have allowed all year. You could also say that Dennis Pitta hasn't had a touchdown in... as many years as he got touchdowns last week. It won't happen again.