A friend of mine shared a Facebook post this week that I found myself relating to very differently than he intended. He mused that before he became a parent, he swore he'd always answer his kids' questions with well thought out, logical responses. When he, y'know, actually became a parent, his responses were much more comical, but centered around the central theme of "Because."

I started playing fantasy football before it became a phenomenon activity in my family. As of a few years ago, my dad gave it a shot, and we bonded over lunch at least once a week to talk about his lineup last week, his lineup this week, who he needed to pick up, etc. I always made sure that when my dad asked a question to me about fantasy, I could give him a thorough response. Y'know, cause it was just one guy, and admittedly that's not that hard to do.

Suddenly, I'm four weeks in to having three family members play fantasy football with me; my dad, my soon-to-be-wife, and my mother. So my weekly phone calls with my dad (I've since moved to Texas) have become weekly phones calls with my dad and mom. So now I'm up to three people, my three fantasy kids, who I love very dearly and rely on me for basically nothing else (my STBW included), and they ask me for fantasy advice.

Running Back Questions

______ will either be on my bench or will ruin my week.

A: Mike Gillislee
B: Tevin Coleman
C: Marshawn Lynch
D: Joe Mixon

Man, how did we get here? In the ever bleak search for a RB2, for the pitiful few of us who previously drafted a Seahawks RB not named Carson or whatever was left of Frank Gore hoping that the No-RB strategy would save you, you could be looking at a crop of RB's who could all very potentially leave you high and dry. I don't know who the best of a bad bunch is, but I know the worst of these is Mike Gillislee. Yes, just like every defensive coordinator in the NFL, I risk Bill Belichick making me look stupid. But let's look at the facts. While Carolina hasn't frightened anyone on defense, they've generally held full RB units to less than 20 rushes per game, the exception, of course, being New Orleans last game. The New England backs, as a whole, may account for 20-25 combined rushes, but I actually wouldn't be shocked to see James White worked in as pass catcher more than seeing Gillislee fall into the end zone. Compared to everyone else on this list, who could be the red zone target and even account for one TD in your FLEX, I'm having trouble subbing in Gillislee.

Against all odds, you should take a look at ___________ now?

A: CJ Anderson
B: Chris Carson
C: Carlos Hyde
D: Christian McCaffrey

If anyone took my advice last week and also thought, "Hey! McCaffrey! This has got to be the game," I don't know what happened either, and I apologize deeply for having a logical thought involving the Panthers organization, so obviously he's off the list. For me, that leaves Chris Carson. Now he hasn't gotten a big enough workload for me to default automatically to "that's the guy," but there are two dudes who were drafted well ahead of him that only snap between them last week. So, ok, by default, it's Carson. I don't know if the line in Seattle makes Carson a go to guy week in and week out, but this is the year where "playing the matchups" and "the Indianapolis Colts" means start whoever you can, and Chris Carson should run and run and run this week.

Wide Receiver Questions

Am I going to really roll with ____________ this week? (Yes. Yes I Am)

A: Stefon Diggs
B: Tyreek Hill
C: Jarvis Landry
D: Emmanuel Sanders

I've officially pimped him twice in the course of the three weeks I've written this column, but the already too-high hype on Stefon Diggs is STILL not high enough. Diggs is in a favorable matchup against a Detroit Lions team that has welcomed any and all shootouts, and though both he and Adam Thielen are must starts at this point in time, I don't need a whole section to tell you that Diggs is still consistent, still trustworthy, and still not properly rated given how fast and furious he has started.

In Week 3, I will FLEX my muscles and put ________ in my lineup

A: T.Y. Hilton
B: Amari Cooper
C: Golden Tate
D: Chris Hogan

I'm sure if you spent a third or fourth round draft pick on some of the guys in this section, you're gonna be really upset when I pull back the curtain to remind you that Chris Hogan is the closest thing the Patriots offense has had to a consistent scoring threat. Since the injuries to wide receivers impacted the Patriots following the first week of play, Chris Hogan has tied for most receptions by a wide receiver on the team (ten, not great, but stick with me) with a resulting three touchdowns. While guys like Cooks and Gronk represent the boom or bust element in New England, Brady seems to use Chris Hogan as his 2018 security blank, so feel comfortable (especially in non-PPR leagues) rolling out Chris Hogan in a favorable matchup.

Tight End Question

Parachute? I don't need no parachute, I have __________________

A: Austin Sefarian-Jenkins
B: Hunter Henry
C: Austin Hooper
D: Jesse James

I went a little bit lower on the list of tight ends than normal because, well, it's arguably who a lot of teams are looking at this week on waivers. And guys, I have to admit, as someone who drafted Austin Sefarian-Jenkins in a ton of leagues (ok, who am I kidding, I've bought him in dynasty for the last three years and am excited that I finally might be right) I'm excited to see his target share in his first game back for the 2017 season, a total of five receptions against the Miami Dolphins. If I'm tight-end desperate and need a fill in for an Olsen-Eifert-Reed quality starter, I'm cracking a beer on my chest and shouting ASJ.

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