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Fantasy Mad Libs: Starters and Sitters For Week 8

By Erik Daniel Drost (Flickr) [CC-BY-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

Cliff Clinton evaluates some unexpected sleepers and busts for Week 8 of the 2016 NFL season by playing a game of fantasy football fill in the blanks.

I'm infamously bad at Halloween. No, I guess that's not right; I'm bad at fantasy football despite how much effort I put into it. I'm... uninterested in Halloween. Don't get me wrong, it has all of my favorite things (alcohol and bad food.) I've mostly stayed away from dressing up too ridiculously, in a holiday that makes it a contest. It has all of the same appeal as taking selfies; I'm a fat guy in his mid 20's, and unless I want to go as Chris Farley every year it's best to just downplay it, and make a fool of yourself the old fashioned way (alcohol and bad food.)

Anyway, I'm going to most likely get together with close friends, and since I'm now scared to wear my clown mask for fear of being attacked by angry villagers... I came up with some great football related costumes that I may be wearing. And heck, if you need a costume, give it a shot.

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Football Costume Ideas

The Las Vegas Elvis Raider: One part cheesy Elvis wig, one part white pants, one part Raiders jersey. Tell everyone you are "all shook up" to see Derek Carr down the street from The Strip, or let people know that you're "Hubba Hubba Hoping" that Latavius Murray won't screw you over this week!

A Color Rush Jersey: One part overly bright spray-paint can on sale at Home Depot because no one ever buys that color. Apply to white clothing with gusto. Let everyone know you're gonna be playing on Thursday night, despite the sub-optimal match-up possibilities.

Tom Brady: One part Tom Brady jersey, one part handcuffs. You can also go bottomless, if you're prepared to go to jail for a great gag.

A Sweet Play-Recap Vine: One part Odell Beckham Jr. costume, one part leaving halfway through the party.

The Shoddy NFL Judgement System: One part Roger Goodell suit, one part eight ball. If someone asks you who you are, give them a complicated and/or condescending answer. If they ask you again, let your eight ball do the hard work! After all, you're the rich guy, you don't have time for that!

Anyway, on to the advice...

Running Back

Isaiah Crowell will either be on my bench or will ruin my week.

This isn't exactly the sexiest pick in the land, but anyone who is playing Crowell in a week chock full of BYEs is looking for disappointment. The Cleveland Browns RB did decent work with his touches in Week 7, but ultimately has seen his workload drop in the last three weeks. He has yet to top 14 touches or 70 rushing yards in the last three weeks, and that won't start with the Jets.

Dear Ty Montgomery, do you like like me? I like like you this week.

Is this cheating? IT FEELS LIKE CHEATING! It's also partly why I'm so excited about Ty Montgomery in general. He's a RB! He's a WR! He's like if the Dexter McCluster thing actually worked in Kansas City! Montgomery will be serving partially as a RB, partially as a WR, in a game vs Atlanta that is both simultaneous shootout and weird Green Bay matchup vs the Atlanta defense all at once. Of course, if my fever dream of a Sunday is as predicted, it could mean a disgustingly big day for guys like Ty.

Am I going to really start Robert Kelley in Week 8?

Chris Thompson was the "run, don't walk" pickup for mostly everyone who owned Matt Jones or simply needed an RB in Week 8, but it looks like Kelley, not Thompson, will be getting the start in London. It's worth discussing the split; Thompson will be the third-down back and potentially the goal line option, but if you are desperate, go with the guy being forecasted as the starter until we know more about what this committee division looks like.

Wide Receiver

Don't hand me my money back, I'm going double-or-nothing on Larry Fitzgerald

Any Arizona Cardinal not named "David Johnson" has been more than a little frustrating to own, but Fitz has been solid. A WR1 in nearly every league, a consistent amount of targets, and a Carolina defense that is more apt to allow a shootout than to stop any significant forward progress. Fitz should be more reminiscent of his game vs San Francisco than what the last two week have looked like.

I will be discarding my Jordy Nelson and replacing him with two cards from the deck

In a column that is stark full of advice that is probably neither new nor artfully written, I will be also telling you that Desmond Trufant is very good at playing cornerback, and has been shadowing the number one receiver on the opposing offense every matchup so far. As a Jordy Nelson owner, this is devastating, but I'd rather violate the "never sit your stud" rule than lose a game like this again. While I am passionately riding with some Packers (TY!), I'm sitting out on Jordy.

I am out of options, and will be swiping left on Cordarrelle Patterson (owned in less than 2% of leagues)

This is a recommendation that seems brutally obvious despite such low ownership percentage. Patterson is the WR2 on Minnesota, getting consistent targets in the last three games, and is facing a team that welcomes opposing wide receivers with fruit baskets and touchdowns. If you're hurting in any league (looking at you, already miserable Odell owners), Patterson is more than likely waiting for you.

Tight End

Parachute? I don't need no parachute, I have Antonio Gates

In a week where many of the San Diego Chargers fantasy options are doing the "I'm Benched Shuffle," Antonio Gates is a beacon of light. Preventing TE yards is one of the few weakness of Denver's defense, and Gates is still available in more than 40% of leagues. It's a particularly brutal week for TE, so don't be afraid to take a flyer on a veteran.

Don't cry kids! We will bury Eric Ebron in the yard

I've seen trades for Eric Ebron this week, I've seen people hoping he's the answer for Week 8... but I'm going to need someone to sit me down and tell me why. The Houston Texans haven't given much away to the position, not allowing more than 40 yards to any TE so far (except for you, Indianapolis. Four for you, Indianapolis, and none for Denver!) Let the man heal for one more week before you take a chance on him.




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REAL-TIME FANTASY NEWS

Tyrese Maxey

Available Versus Milwaukee
Zaccharie Risacher

Cleared to Face Spurs
Kristaps Porzingis

Back in Action on Thursday
Chris Godwin

Could Play in Week 12 After Return to Full Practice
Keon Coleman

to be a Healthy Scratch Again on Thursday Night
Tarik Skubal

Tigers "Doubtful" to Trade Tarik Skubal
Jarrett Allen

Questionable for Friday
Simon Holmstrom

Ready for Action Thursday
Lars Eller

Available Thursday
Domantas Sabonis

Will Miss at Least 3-4 Weeks
Ridly Greig

Out Against Ducks
Nikola Jović

Nikola Jovic Out Against Bulls on Friday
Jake Neighbours

Back for Blues Thursday
Alexandre Sarr

Listed as Questionable for Friday Against the Raptors
TB

Nicholas Paul Available Thursday
Paul George

Set to Suit Up Thursday
Victor Hedman

Out for "Couple of Weeks"
Tyler Bertuzzi

Set to Return Thursday
Gary Harris

Added to the Injury Report as Questionable for Thursday
Daniel Jones

Added to Colts' Injury Report With Calf Issue
Andrew Wiggins

Unavailable For Friday's Matchup With Chicago
Indiana Pacers

Garrison Mathews Will Join the Pacers
Joe Burrow

Logs Second Straight Full Practice on Thursday
Dante Exum

Will Miss the Rest of the Season
Keegan Murray

Is Available For His Season Debut Thursday
Tyrese Maxey

Listed as Probable for Thursday
Domantas Sabonis

Will Not Play Thursday Against Memphis
Joel Embiid

Listed as Out for Thursday
Aaron Rodgers

Seen at Practice on Thursday
Jaylen Warren

Moving Around Well on Thursday
Bucky Irving

Will be on a Snap Count When he Returns
Jaxson Dart

Could Clear Concussion Protocol Thursday
Lamar Jackson

Returns to Thursday's Practice
Josh Jacobs

to Do Individual Drills on Thursday
Joe Mixon

Not Expected to Play This Season
Chris Godwin

Attending Thursday's Practice
Bucky Irving

Continues Practice Attendance
Rasmus Andersson

Bags Three Points Wednesday Night
Morgan Geekie

Nets Two Power-Play Goals Wednesday
Joe Burrow

Bengals Haven't Ruled Out Joe Burrow for Week 12
Connor McMichael

Posts Three Assists in Wednesday's Win
Alexander Romanov

Islanders Place Alexander Romanov on Injured Reserve
Lars Eller

to Miss Thursday's Action
Nic Dowd

Out on Thursday
Adam Lowry

Inks Extension With Jets
Jaren Jackson Jr.

Likely Out on Thursday
Zaccharie Risacher

Questionable for Thursday
Kristaps Porzingis

at Risk of Missing Another Game
Paolo Banchero

Misses Fourth Straight Game
Kawhi Leonard

Remains Out Against Magic
Brian Thomas Jr.

Limited in Practice on Wednesday
Raisel Iglesias

Returning to the Braves on One-Year Deal
Lamar Jackson

Absent Due to Ankle Injury
Conor Garland

to Return on Thursday
Thomas Harley

to Miss Road Trip
Eetu Luostarinen

Out Week-to-Week After Barbecue Accident
Curtis Lazar

to Miss at Least Three Games
Vladimir Tarasenko

Misses Third Consecutive Game
Mikael Granlund

Remains Out Wednesday
Charlie McAvoy

Out Indefinitely After Facial Surgery
Joe Burrow

to Potentially Return in Week 12?
Aaron Rodgers

Out on Wednesday, Hopes to Practice Thursday
Jaylen Warren

Not Seen at Wednesday's Practice
Dak Prescott

Lands on Injury Report Ahead of Week 12 With Hip Injury
Rhamondre Stevenson

Targeting a Return in Week 12?
Sahith Theegala

Looking to Continue Fall Run at RSM Classic
Stephan Jaeger

Looking to Bounce Back at RSM Classic
Tom Hoge

Looking to Regain Form at RSM Classic
Joe Highsmith

Searching for Turnaround at RSM Classic
Adam Hadwin

Looking to Build on T11 Finish in Bermuda
Austin Eckroat

Searching for Momentum at RSM Classic
Joel Dahmen

Trying to Find Form at the RSM Classic
CFB

Garrett Nussmeier Doubtful to Play Against Western Kentucky
Michael Thorbjornsen

Hopes to End 2025 Campaign With Another Solid Finish
Andrew Novak

Looks to End 2025 Season on High Note at RSM Classic
Harry Higgs

Teetering for PGA Tour Card in 2026
PGA

Nico Echavarria has the Potential to Contend at the RSM Classic
Sam Stevens

Finishing Out Year in Georgia
Seamus Power

Playing Better at the Right Time
Beau Hossler

Roller Coaster Comes to Saint Simons Island
Quade Cummins

The Time is Now for Quade Cummins in Georgia
Austin Cook

Needs a Win at the RSM Classic
Cameron Champ

on the PGA Tour Card Bubble
Grayson Rodriguez

Shipped to Angels
Taylor Ward

Orioles Acquire Taylor Ward From Angels
Shota Imanaga

Accepts Cubs Qualifying Offer
Brandon Woodruff

Returning to Milwaukee in 2026
Denny McCarthy

Looking For Another Solid Finish at RSM Classic
Si Woo Kim

Looking To Use Current Momentum to Flip Script at RSM Classic
Mackenzie Hughes

a Good Bounce-Back Candidate at RSM Classic
Harris English

Making 14th Start at This Week's RSM Classic
Konnor Griffin

Could Compete for Starting Shortstop Job in 2026
Gleyber Torres

Accepts Tigers Qualifying Offer
CFB

Sam Leavitt Set to Enter Transfer Portal?
Jose Altuve

Undergoes Foot Surgery
Alex Bregman

Red Sox Going for Either Alex Bregman or Pete Alonso?
CFB

James Franklin to be Virginia Tech's Next Head Coach
CFB

Fernando Mendoza the Clear Heisman Trophy Favorite?
CFB

Beau Pribula Has Chance to Face Oklahoma on Saturday
Jack Della Maddalena

Gets Dominated
Islam Makhachev

Claims UFC Welterweight Belt
Zhang Weili

Gets Outclassed
Valentina Shevchenko

Wins Unanimous Decision At UFC 322
Sean Brady

Suffers First-Round TKO Loss
Michael Morales

Remains Unbeaten
Leon Edwards

Suffers Second-Round Knockout Loss
Leon Edwards

Carlos Prates Becomes The First Man To Knock Out Leon Edwards
Beneil Dariush

Suffers Brutal First-Round Knockout Loss
Beneil Dariush

Benoit Saint Denis Knocks Out Beneil Dariush In 16 Seconds
Josh Naylor

Mariners Finalizing Five-Year Contract
CFB

Jeremiah Smith, Carnell Tate Not Dealing With Long-Term Injuries
CFB

Virginia Tech Close To Naming James Franklin As Head Coach
CFB

Garrett Nussmeier Doubtful vs. Arkansas On Saturday
Edwin Díaz

Blue Jays Interested in Signing Edwin Diaz?
Jacob deGrom

Named AL Comeback Player of the Year
Ronald Acuña Jr.

Ronald Acuna Jr. Wins NL Comeback Player of the Year Award
Aroldis Chapman

Named AL Reliever of the Year
Edwin Díaz

Edwin Diaz Named NL Reliever of the Year

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