Welcome to Week 15's edition of The Cut List, RotoBaller's weekly column filled with advice on who is fat to be trimmed from your roster and who deserves a little more time on your plate. Each player receives both statistical and social media analysis, providing both real and ridiculous reasons why we--Tony Peters and Ben Hamren of the All Stats A Salad weekly fantasy football podcast--feel the way we do. The season's chalk full of angst and anxiety, let us take you beyond the stats to tickle your funny bone and your brain.

All ownership rates are taken from Fleaflicker and opponent ranks are based on the last four weeks. Be sure to check our Week 15 (NSFW) episodes of the All Stats A Salad podcast--out every Wednesday and Friday--by clicking here.

Editor's Note: Once you're done here, be sure to read about even more Week 15 waiver wire recommendations, for all fantasy-relevant positions. Just click on any link: ALL - RB - WR - TE - QB - DEF - FAAB 

 

Week 15 Players to Consider Cutting or Replacing

Michael Floyd (WR, ARI) - 45% Owned

WK14: 2-of-3 targets for 18 yards, zero TD
WK12-14: 7-of-16 targets for 67 yards, one TD
WK15 Opponent: Bruce Arians' foot

TONY: One of my favorite songs by punk legends Bad Religion (a list that is very long) is Stranger Than Fiction, a song about how often the real world produces story lines that seem too ridiculous to be based on fact but, in fact, are. That's why we open up this week's The Cut List with a straight punchline. The story of Michael Floyd's Sunday night/Monday morning adventures make all stats pointless. The Cardinals' wide receiver was arrested at 2:48AM Monday morning after he fell asleep at a stop light. As described by the arresting officer, after watching Floyd's vehicle go unmoved for two light cycles, he approached the SUV to find him asleep at the wheel, foot on the brake of his still-running vehicle. After three attempts to wake him, he returned to the real world uncooperative and had to be physically removed from his vehicle before his arrest. With a league suspension looming to go along with his current suspension from team activities, he's an easy cut in all 12-team and shallower leagues.

All stats a salad...the best part of all this is that one day we'll all get to see this silly event play out as it was all picked up by a police body camera. As thankful as I am that this DUI ended rather harmlessly--immensely, to be clear--is as happy I am that this video exists. Not only will it be worth more than a few chuckles but hopefully it will push Floyd to getting the help he needs to stop this seemingly endless string of boozy blunders.

 
 
Devontae Booker (RB, DEN) - 80% Owned

WK14: three rushes for one yards, zero TD
WK12-14: 45 rushes for 115 yards, one TD
WK15 Opponent: Patriots (28th in points allowed to RB)

BEN: When it comes to fantasy football advice, there is nothing I can suggest as a harsher punishment than cutting a player. It doesn't feel like enough in this case, but The Cut List will have to do. Since igniting the world on fire following C.J. Anderson's injury, Devontae Booker has since taken a firm step back, possibly in a show of solidarity with Anderson's sub-par 2016 results. It might seem like I'm coming down harsh on Booker, but understand his Week 14 stinker combined with two others on this list to sink my playoff dreams in one fell swoop. If his results weren't bad enough, head coach Gary Kubiak brought in Justin Forsett because he is throwing science at the wall and hoping something will stick. Playoffs? Cut in all but the deepest of formats.

All stats a salad...in our on-going segment covering every player who ever went to a Utah-based school and has a boring social media presence, we welcome Booker to the club. The rookie has stayed mainly quiet during the season, which is likely a very good thing considering how his coach can't find even an itch of enthusiasm when “complementing” him. I was able to find a picture that sums up exactly how I and the many other owners who sought salvation from the ashes of Anderson's demise within the arms of Booker and were hastily burned. I've been there, baby...

 
 
Matt Forte (RB, NYJ) - 98% Owned

WK14: three rushes for eight yards, zero TD
WK12-14: 25 rushes for 60 yards, zero TD; 6-of-8 targets for 77 yards, zero TD
WK15 Opponent: A slew of doctors

TONY: While Matt Forte's recent performances have earned him enough scorn to make this list on its own accord, a devastating right knee injury suffered Sunday made the decision for us all. Though the extent of the injury is still unknown as of Monday night, the bare minimum injury appears to be a hyper-extension, rightfully earning him a doubtful tag coming into Week 15. As bad as this looks, the sky only darkens further when one adds his balky left knee, which have been giving him problems all season long. If the season wasn't nearly over, Forte would make the Stash-and-Pray section, but the reality of this ending his season pushes him right against the edge of rosters in all leagues.

All stats a salad...looks like Forte found something his healthy eating can't stop: grown men trying to tackle him. A self-proclaimed health nut, Forte takes great lengths to keep himself in tip-top shape, including eating things that make his teammates turn the same bright green color of his smoothies. He routinely puts spinach in his smoothies, never eats fast or junk food of any kind (including Butterfinger Blizzards from Dairy Queen, his favorite) and consumes phytoplankton--a supplement made from microscopic marine plants--which is taken with an eye dropper like a recreational drugs.

 
 
Kelvin Benjamin (WR, CAR) - 95% Owned

WK14: 1-of-4 targets for 11 yards, zero TD
WK12-14: 5-of-19 targets for 82 yards, one TD
WK15 Opponent: Redskins (13th in points allowed to WR)

TONY: Since showing up in this column back in Week 12 as a Stash-and-Pray, Kelvin Benjamin has only gotten worse. Things hit with the power of a WR1 low blow Week 14 when he caught one single pass. While we could sit here and debate the hows and whys of this situation all day long, with only three weeks of games left, those questions simply don't matter. There are worse players to have sitting on your bench for the fantasy playoffs, but if you are in a non-PPR league of any size, you owe it to yourself to see if he can't be replaced with another player who actually has a chance of putting up fantasy numbers worthy of a starting position in the little time we have left.

All stats a salad...Benjamin posted this graphic on Instagram after his Week 2 monster game, a moment that is all but guaranteed to be his best game of the season by far. Instead of practicing this week, he should just spend his time sharing that post digitally with Cam Newton, over and over. "Hey braj, remember when we did this together? Pretty tight, yo. I'm totally free to do it again any time."

 
 

Hot Seat - Sending Warning Signals

Ben Roethlisberger (QB, PIT) - 98% Owned

WK14: 17-of-31 for 220 yards, zero TD, three INT
WK12-WK14: 55-of-87 for 730 yards, five TD, four INT
WK15 Opponent: Bengals (26th in points allowed to QB)

Drew Brees (QB, NO) - 100% Owned

WK14: BR: 17-of-31 for 220 yards, zero TD, three INT
WK12-WK14: 84-of-121 for 893 yards, four TD, six INT
WK15: Cardinals (14th in points allowed to QB)

BEN: What a bunch of jokers these guys have been lately, am I right? Just in time for most leagues to start their playoffs, these two golden gooses defecated in a bowl instead of delivering their expected platter of shiny treasures. I rode the Roethlisberger train straight to first place only to watch him (and the aforementioned running back duo) derail my dreams and send them rolling into the ocean like a round of Battlefield 1 gone wrong. On the other side of my matchup, watching my opponent suffering a similar fate with Brees playing the role of failure gave me a glimmer of hope. These two fellas--one sure fire hall of famer and the other a dude close to it--have to kick it into high gear to end out the 2016 campaign or they'll face one of the worst punishments known to the world: an increase in internet trolls telling you in more colorful language that "you suck."

All stats a salad..."Big Ben" apparently is planning on playing the role of constant ASAS participant Blake Bortles' father in an off-season play. Now they have more in common than just a look: poor on-field play!

As far as Brees goes, this dude's social media is nothing but him in his community doing boring outreach stuff and whatnot. Except when he and his wife go to early access previews of movies, which is extra time he shouldn't have with his clearly tanking on-field performances. This is Jessica Simpson all over again.

 
 
Jason Witten (TE, DAL) - 83% Owned

WK14: 4-of-7 for 26 yards, zero TD
WK12-WK14: 7-of-10 for 59 yards, zero TD
WK15: Buccaneers (21st in points allowed to TE)

BEN: Remember the good times we had with Jason Witten during the middle of the year when he was on fire? So do I as it was yet another example of what has come to be known as vintage "beginning of the year Witten stats." Dak Prescott has cooled off, especially on the road but even more so against the Giants. Good news though: no more games against the Giants and only one game on the road (Week 17). The Cowboys face the Bucs this week, a team that is on a roll defensively. But the Cowboys are not happy with last week so who knows what old man Jerry has in store. Still, finger wag to you, Witten.

All stats a salad...Witten held a charity Christmas party recently and the Cowboys' official Twitter posted a photo of the "Santa" that was in attendance. Mother of god, does O-lineman Travis Frederick make one creepy Santa. Please don't bring me tackles for Christmas.

 
 

Stash and Pray

Stefon Diggs (WR, MIN) - 93% Owned

WK14: 3-of-5 targets for 55 yards, zero TD
WK12-WK14: 11-of-13 targets for 114 yards, zero TD
WK15: Colts (10th in points allowed to WR)

BEN: It always brings me joy to write about the Vikings, and I get to do so this week in the latest installment of "Better Know a Receiver." Stefon Diggs is on a team that saw their offensive coordinator peace out when they were at their strongest, has had its offensive line decimated by injury and whatever Sam Bradford is. Plus there's the unmentioned issue that is his head coach turning into a pirate. Bringing on a new offensive coordinator mid-season always comes with its fair share of challenges, something Diggs has been trying his hardest to work around. The Colts are a solid matchup to help bring back out his production in time to face a Packers' defense Week 16 that is as imposing as Bradford is to defenses.

All stats a salad...word play, who doesn't love it? My only real question is can one acquire one of these shovels with the face of Stefon Diggs on them? I want it, so I can bury the early season dreams of the Vikings and Nick Swardson all in one grave.