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By Sgt. Alexander Martinez (15th Wing) [Public domain], via Wikimedia CommonsIt's awfully frustrating when the fantasy gods deal us a championship week as low-scoring as the one we saw last week. Fortunately, this writer was able to overcome the lack of scoring explosions and win his lone championship (what's that? You say I also lost out of the RotoBaller playoffs last weekend? That's great. Now, who exactly invited you here?). The final recap: a damned stressful season, four leagues, two playoff appearances, one championship. NOT BAD.

For those of you who like to ride the regular season wave and find themselves in need of fantasy advice, have no fear. I bring you another batch of busts and potential disappointments at the point during the season when it's most important. Follow these picks and it might save your season. Of course, we might end up getting another week where no one gets any scoring from any of their players, and the Knile Davises and Josh Hills of the league go for multiple touchdowns. But why wouldn't the fantasy gods just rain all over our fantasy parades?

(For my diehard fans, I apologize for a shorter column than you are more accustom to. But the good news is that RotoBaller and I have agreed upon some regular NBA columns for the rest of that season. So those of you who play, you can come check it out. Those of you who like to laugh can come, too. Really, anyone can come.)

(Except for those who murder puppies. You can just stay right where you are.)

(Get ready for parentheses, baby!)

 

Top Five Potential Busts & Disappointments for Week 16

1. Robert Griffin III - QB, Washington Redskins

This very well could end up being one of the weirdest (and potentially exciting) matchups of the weekend, especially considering it's featuring a nine-win team (the Eagles) against a three-win team (the Deadskins). My prediction: RGIII and Mark Sanchez have a game of “Who Can Play Worse” and the III will “outplay” the Butt Fumbler. But just to make it even more whackier, the game will go in a very Philadephian way and the ‘Skins will end up beating their divisional rivals, ruining their quest for the playoffs. And then Jay Gruden will go into his postgame presser unhappy with the win and overtly disappointed with his QB, and question whether or not an ailing Colt McCoy is the best option to close out the season. Griffin, in turn, will be so mad that his talent is being questioned that he’ll go out and film a Subway commercial to show everyone how serious he takes it all.  It’ll be a good commercial, though. I’ll definitely end up getting a turkey and ham footlong upon first viewing.

 

2. Matt Forte - RB, Chicago Bears

The Lions defense proved its worth against a young Minnesota team by holding them to only two touchdowns, which kept afloat a struggling Detroit offense. I don’t expect the offense to have as much trouble against the Swiss Cheese that is Chicago’s secondary (they're allowing 272 yards per game, placing them second-to-last in the league). Throw in the fact that everyone on this team (save Forte and Alshon Jeffery) has given up on the season (Monday night was a dreadful display by a professional team), and things are not looking too good for Forte. Lucky for him that Jimmy Clausen is obviously the answer to the problem. Wait. (Reviews notes.) Scratch that. Forte is screwed.

 

3. Mike Evans - WR, Tampa Bay Buccaneers

It’s good to see the rookie out of Texas A&M  having the season that he is having. And he's only going to improve going forward. But I foresee some issues as he faces a usually bad Packers pass defense. I figure Evans will see plenty of fellow rookie Ha Ha Clinton-Dix, so you know he’ll have to work on every down. You figure the Green Bay sideline will know exactly how the Lions are playing in Chicago, and it'll keep the defense fired up all game knowing that the divisional title (and quite possibly a playoff position berth) could be in jeopardy. Plus, these Packers are all veterans. They know how to close down far inferior opponents when they need to, especially at the end of the season.

 

4. Percy Harvin - WR, New York Jets

If you’re still “Boom or Bust”-ing Harvin (and you’ve managed to keep from punching through your screen up to this point), then you should find comfort in knowing that Bill Belichick has no intentions of allowing the speedy playmaker to run free at MetLife Stadium this weekend. If he isn't designating Harvin to Revis Island, then he’s going to be making Geno Smith miserable (of course, sending a three-man rush usually gets the job done there). Expect the Jets to try to grind down the Patriots with their run game if this doesn’t turn into a slaughter early. But Harvin will see his usual state line: four targets, two widely misthrown balls, two catches for 18 yards and two rushing attempts for -4 yards. Not quite going to win you that championship belt.

 

5. DeMarco Murray - RB, Dallas Cowboys

The Cowboys, who for the past ten years have been the butt of all “Can’t Get it Done” jokes, are toying with the idea of playing their star running back this weekend. And all signs point to Murray suiting up against the Colts, too. Hopefully someone sensible on the Dallas sideline keeps a fresh dose of Joseph Randle in the lineup, because I don’t see the point in risking Murray’s health in a season where Dallas might just get it done.  Of course, the Colts could end up laying it on and exposing what might amount to a mediocre team with a hobbled Murray, in which case Tony Romo is going to have to try and save the game. Need I remind you how that typically works out in December?

 

That's it for this week, folks.  Hit me up on Twitter at @fantasybhehir if you're looking for more one-on-one help. Or you've got a funny joke. Or if you wanna call me dumb. Everything is game!

(Please be nice.)