You've read about all the sleepers, waiver wire pickups and starter suggestions based on matchups. Now let me burst some bubbles and tell you who I think is going to bust big time in the Divisional playoffs this weekend.

This isn't to troll or spread hate - that's what Reddit is for. Think of this as a public service for fanboys and truth deniers who insist that everything is going to be alright, when it's clearly not. If you don't believe me, just ask the general public on Twitter. They know everything.

Warning: while the picks made in this article are completely serious, you may find sarcastic humor laced throughout. If you don't have any sense of humor whatsoever, turn back now before you get all worked up. Comments, praise, complaints or ramblings can be directed to @pfunk00 on Twitter.

Editor's Note: New users that sign up on FantasyAces, make a $20 deposit, and enter any game will receive BOTH our full season NFL and NBA Premium Passes for free, a $119.99 value. Just email [email protected] with your new FantasyAces username - and boom, that's it! We will email you with your Premium Passes.

 

Wild Card Recap

I've never been one to believe in curses, jinxes or superstition. I used to walk under ladders, in front of black cats and break mirrors on purpose just to prove my disbelief (I was a strange child). I might be changing my tune, however, after watching last week's Green Bay-New York game. Despite nailing seven out of my 10 picks for last week, the player that blew up was the one I chose to be cover boy for my busts article, Randall Cobb. He didn't just have a good game, he went ballistic. Cobb caught three TD for the second time in his career and tied his previous playoff high with 116 yards.

This makes three weeks in a row that my cover player has had one of the best weeks of all my bust picks. First, Steve Smith in Week 16, last week Tom Brady, and now Cobb. In other words, I think I've acquired the Madden cover curse. Maybe I should be flattered. The point is, while you should heed the advice in this column, be prepared for Lamar Miller to go absolutely nuts this week. Onto the official recap from last week.

Jinx!

Randall Cobb (5 REC, 116 YDS, 3 TD, 1 Hail freakin' Mary)
Thomas Rawls (161 YDS, 1 TD)
DeAndre Hopkins (5 REC, 67 YDS, 1 TD)

 

 

No Jinx!

Matthew Stafford (205 YDS, 0 TD)
Matt Moore (289 YDS, 1 TD, 1 INT, 2 FMB)
Paul Perkins (30 RUSH YDS, 27 REC YDS)
DeVante Parker (4 REC, 55 YDS)
Cobi Hamilton (1 REC, 10 YDS)
Seth Roberts (1 REC, 1 YD)
Eric Ebron (2 REC, 23 YDS)

 
 
 
 
 
While nobody expected Rawls or Cobb to break out the way they did last week, those picks are still on me. I hope you weren't planning on playing Cobi Hamilton anyway. If so, let me guide you to a whole bunch of other articles you should be reading as well. Now, let's see how this week's crop of busts fare in the even tougher divisional round. Good luck!

 

Top 10 Busts for Divisional Round Playoffs

Russell Wilson (QB, SEA) - A matchup against the second-worst pass defense against quarterbacks seems like money in the bank for Wilson owners. But consider the fact his road numbers have been pedestrian at best this season, with eight touchdowns and eight interceptions in eight games. Truth be told, he's been downright unplayable in all but two road games (Week 4 vs the Jets and shockingly Week 10 vs the Patriots). He still isn't making plays with his feet, so it will take a big passing day for Wilson to pay off. Atlanta's secondary has stepped up in the absence of Desmond Trufant and aren't quite as bad as people think. Wilson has shown the potential for explosive games at unexpected times, but he appears to be more of a trap play this week. He may have cause to be concerned about the immediate Future (see what I did there?).

Tevin Coleman (RB, ATL) - Coleman was completely shut down the by Seahawks in Week 6, totaling 17 yards. That shouldn't be surprising, since they are one of the best defenses against RB catching the ball out of the backfield. They haven't allowed a single receiving touchdown to a running back this season and allowed the fourth-fewest receptions. Even if this game becomes a shootout, there's reason enough to think Coleman won't be too involved. It doesn't take away from his breakout season, though. You know you've made it big when you get mentioned in a nonsensical tweet by Uncle Luke a.k.a. Luke Skywalker.

Brock Osweiler (QB, HOU) - Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Many people expected Osweiler to go down in flames in his first playoff start last weekend (including yours truly). While 14 completions for 168 yards and one TD is far from spectacular, he made for a adequate value play in fantasy thanks to a rushing score. This time he won't be facing a rookie QB on the other side, nor can the Patriots defense be compared to Oakland's. New England finished 14-2 in large part thanks to a defense that allowed the fewest points in the league, including 21 passing TD in 16 games. Osweiler will need to scramble or sneak for another TD on the ground to scrap together any fantasy value in this matchup. Even so, last week's point total would seem to be his absolute ceiling this week. Avoid again.

Lamar Miller (RB, HOU) - We know Miller will get a huge workload once again, as the Texans try to keep the ball out of Brady's hands and alleviate pressure on Osweiler. It may result in another sub-3.00 Y/A game, just like last week. Including the Wild Card game against Oakland, where he ran the ball 31 times but produced just 73 yards, Miller has been struggling to make big gains late in the season. In the last five games, Miller is averaging exactly three yards per carry, only breaking 100 yards from scrimmage once (Week 14 against the Colts). On the plus side, he's scored a touchdown in three straight. That will be a tough streak to continue, as the Pats only gave up four rushing touchdowns all year. Expect eight man, maybe more, in the box throughout the first half of this game as the Patriots aim to take Miller out of the gameplan.

 

Jeremy Maclin (WR, KC) - This is a dicey call, as a bum ankle could keep Maclin sidelined against the Steelers. Even at 100%, Maclin has had a bust of a season altogether. Maclin has only passed 80 yards in a game once this year, with his season-best performance of six receptions for 82 yards against Tennessee's awful secondary. There is little hope for Maclin to put up much of a fight against the Steelers, even if it is a home game for the Chiefs. Kansas City is a slight favorite to win the game, but they may want to tone it down a bit. Not quite sure what's going on downtown these days...

Taylor Gabriel (WR, ATL) - While Julio Jones is matchup-proof, Gabriel is not. He has proven to be a dynamic playmaker this season, but not on a consistent basis. Gabriel caught just one pass for six yards in the first meeting between these teams in Week 6. His path to becoming a fantasy flex player began the very next week with a touchdown and 68 yards against Green Bay. He proceeded to score five TD in the next six games. Gabriel has the speed to get behind a secondary quickly, but getting a big dose of Richard Sherman and DeShawn Shead won't lead to many big plays. Stick to playing with him on Madden this weekend instead of fantasy football. On second thought...

 

Malcolm Mitchell (WR, NE) - The rookie has been bothered by a knee injury, so his questionable status alone should be enough to make you wary. Add in the fact that the Patriots do not have a clear WR hierarchy, it makes his projected target total impossible to predict. He became a hot commodity late in the season, scoring four touchdowns between Weeks 11-14. He then combined for four catches and 43 yards with no scores the next two weeks before sitting out Week 17. It may be tempting to think that the Patriots will incorporate him into the gameplan this week, but it may not matter. Mitchell will be matched up mostly with A.J. Bouye, who continues to play shutdown corner. Expect Brady to lean on his veterans this game and look away from Mitchell. Yes, even you, Patriots fans.

Austin Hooper (TE, ATL) - After Kelce and Graham, it's slim pickings at the tight end spot in these playoffs. Hooper is a young, athletic tight end playing on a dynamic offense who has a clear path to targets with starter Jacob Tamme on IR. That said, he will be a total bust this weekend. He's coming off an MCL sprain that has kept him out since Week 15, but is expected to play in the divisional round. Hooper hasn't been a factor at all this season, other than two decent games against the two Bays (Green and Tampa) in the middle of the season. In those two weeks, he caught a total of eight passes for 87 yards and a TD. He was also targeted 11 times in those two games. In five games since, he has been targeted a total of 10 times. When searching for a value play at TE, feel free to overlook Hooper, as he obviously is not on his way to becoming a staple of the Falcons' offense.

Jesse James (TE, PIT) - The Outlaw will be the primary tight end once more as Ladarius Green is still in the league's concussion protocol. There has always been room for a tight end to serve as a viable red zone threat in this prolific offense. Then again, that tight end has always been Heath Miller. James sounded like a nice waiver wire add early in the season, but it just hasn't come to fruition even with Green missing ten games. James averaged 2.4 receptions and 21.1 yards per game this season. He scored a total of three touchdowns, but the last of those came in Week 5. At this point, nobody will confuse him for Heath Miller.

Tony Romo (QB, DAL) - The only way Romo should see the field in this game is to take a kneel down in the final minutes if the Cowboys find a way to handle the Pack. They won by two touchdowns earlier this season, so it is a possibility, although that was before the whole "running the table" thing started, so I wouldn't count Green Bay out just yet. As pointless as it may seem to put Romo on this list, you may be interested to know that he is priced higher than Brock Osweiler and just $300 less than Alex Smith on Fantasy Aces this week. Maybe the Cowboys will throw him out there just for the fun of it. It can only help improve his already-rising stock in the eyes of other teams.