Blocking Sled Takes Down DeSean Jackson

If you’re gonna talk a big game about how the most powerful cornerbacks in the league can’t even stop you, you should first make sure you’re also immune to inanimate objects. Washington Redskins wide receiver DeSean Jackson went on the record the other day with ESPN’s John Keim, expressing that “I don’t think no one […]

Dez Bryant Gets Into Altercation Because Why the Hell Not?

In the world of football, especially in the magical land of the Dallas Cowboys, tempers can flare and crap seems to escalate rather quickly. Wide receiver Dez Bryant and defensive back Tyler Patmon exchanged a few words, knocked helmets, and threw some punches during team drills at training camp on Sunday. Not wanting to be […]

Alfred Blue Balls: Arian Foster to Possibly Have Groin Surgery

Ouch – for both Houston Texans key running back Arian Foster, and to those who were looking forward to drafting Foster in their fantasy football league (and by “those” people, I mean poor Blackberry-texting time travelers from the year 2012). After suffering a serious groin injury during Monday’s training camp, it was reported that Foster, […]

We Don’t Make Fun of You Enough, Raiders?

Remember the good old days when folks would make fun of the Oakland Raiders by saying they didn’t know if they were watching Oakland training camp footage or a deleted scene from a “Cops” DVD special? My, have times changed for the worst. What kind of reputation are you trying to build when a teeny […]

So, Does Jimmy Garoppolo Suck?

New England Patriots’ fans are used to having their feathers ruffled (or, in this case, having their feathers ruffled and soaked in gasoline while they punt a lit candle at a local Chevron station) considering their team hits a controversial wall every now and then. So quarterback Tom Brady being forced to take an extended […]

Game of Thrones: Roger Goodell Upholds Tom Brady’s Suspension

Stop me if you've heard this joke before: So Tom Brady's phone and Ray Lewis' white suit walk into a bar... NFL commissioner and Darth Vader twin Roger Goodell upheld the four game suspension of New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady for his role in the unfortunately famous Ballgazi after it was revealed by sources […]

Eyes Wide Shut 2: The LeSean McCoy WTF Edition

“Ladies, you down for a good time to party with one of the top rated running backs in the NFL? You ready for fine food, expensive drinks, the promise of an unforgettable night, and more? You a fan of the Buffalo Bills- hey, where are you going? Why are you slamming the door in my […]

Dez Bryant Loses Cool Over Madden 16 Speed Score

Look up in the sky! It’s a bird! It’s a plane! Well, it sure as hell isn’t Dez Bryant according to his speed rating on NFL Madden 16. Twitter happens to be an excellent source of identifying which athletes are in desperate need of some Midol, so it’s only natural that Bryant took to the […]

Marcus Mariota Signs With That One Team Everyone Forgets Exists

After doing their best impression of the invisible man this past decade, the Tennessee Titans took off their glasses and pulled down their ponytail to reveal that they are no longer the plain, four-eyed nerdy girl everyone overlooks – they’re now just the plain girl with freaking contact lenses and a complexion issue. The Titans […]

Adrian Peterson and the Minnesota Vikings Agree to Restructured Contract

The 2015 fantasy football year is looking to be remarkably similar to that of 2012, when Minnesota Vikings running back Adrian Peterson was flying off the board as the number one pick (you remember that year – when all quarterback Christian Ponder had to do was wake up long enough to yawn and pass the […]

The NFL Probably Won’t Budge on Stance Regarding Tom Brady’s Balls

It was reported earlier Monday morning from sources close to the league that the NFL “feels” it needs to uphold New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady’s four-game suspension for his role in the controversial Deflategate. Brady appealed the suspension in June and now eagerly waits to hear if NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell will uphold or […]

It’s Time For Another Round of “Which NFL Player Was Arrested Today?!”

Tennessee Titans wide receiver, and usual Week Eight drunk wavier wire pick-up, Justin Hunter turned himself in to authorities on Monday in Virginia Beach, Virginia. A warrant was issued for his arrest, following a July 3rd bar brawl that left one person hospitalized for injuries sustained in the fight. This doesn't really help improve the 24-year-old's […]

Dez Resigns with Dallas Cowboys, Fans Sigh in Relief

Dallas Cowboys wide receiver and fan favorite(ish) Dez Bryant agreed on a 5-year, $70 million dollar contract, exciting news that could have possibly replaced Viagra in Cowboys nation on Wednesday afternoon. As most know, 26-year-old Bryant threatened to skip training camp and even regular-season games if his demands were not met by a front office […]