You've read about all the sleepers, waiver wire pickups and starter suggestions based on matchups. Now let me burst some bubbles and tell you who I think is going to bust big time in Week 17.

This isn't to troll or spread hate - that's what Reddit is for. Think of this as a public service for fanboys and truth deniers who insist that everything is going to be alright, when it's clearly not. If you don't believe me, just ask the general public on Twitter. They know everything.

Warning: while the picks made in this article are completely serious, you may find sarcastic humor laced throughout. If you don't have any sense of humor whatsoever, turn back now before you get all worked up. Comments, praise, complaints or ramblings can be directed to @pfunk00 on Twitter.

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Week 16 Recap

Let me start by expressing remorse about Derek Carr. Not the broken leg thing - that wasn't my fault. I feel bad for betting against him the first time this year after he was my preseason fantasy MVP pick. He tossed three TD before suffering a bad break (literally) and finished his 2016 campaign with 28 TD, 6 INT and 3,933 yards. If he had finished out the season, we'd be looking at 30 TD and 4K yardage from a guy who was picked on average in the 10th round of fantasy drafts. It goes to show that leagues are truly won in the middle and later rounds. Unless you drafted David Johnson and Le'Veon Bell in the first two rounds, that is... but I digress. In honor of Carr, we'll employ a theme for this week's visual recap of Week 16 that Raiders fans can appreciate.

Booms (You Know How We Do It)

Derek Carr (232 YDS, 3 TD)
Russell Wilson (350 YDS, 4 TD)
Steve Smith (7 REC, 79 YDS, 1 TD)
Davante Adams (4 REC, 44 YDS, 1 TD)
Tavon Austin (40 TOTAL YDS, 1 TD)

Busts (So Not Money)

A.J. Green (DNP)
Robby Anderson (0 REC, 0 YDS)
John Brown (1 REC, 12 YDS)
Jeremy Maclin (3 REC, 9 YDS)
Coby Fleener (2 REC, 30 YDS)

Overall it was an OK week, with only the QBs having truly big weeks. We continue one more time, because some of you just want to squeeze every ounce of goodness out of the football season and ruin your Super Bowl by playing in a week that is meaningless for 90% of NFL teams. After this, you might want to go check out our waiver wire articles and matchups analysis. Now, get out there and Just Win, Baby!

Top 10 Busts for Week 17

Tom Brady (QB, NE) - Brady hasn't gone over 150 passing yards in his last game of the season since 2012. Resting him in this meaningless matchup isn't just logical, it may be necessary. He has a slight thigh injury and at 39 years old, he could use the recovery time. There is little chance of Brady producing enough value to make him a QB1 this week. If you only knew how much it pleases me personally to finally be able to put Brady in this column. We have good reason to hate on him, after all.

Cam Newton (QB, CAR) - Sadly, this isn't the first time Newton appears in this space and it has been well deserved each time. It would seem Newton is going to be the QB to start this game, but he probably won't finish it. Even so, Newton has become downright benchable these days, as hard as it may be to believe. He has failed to throw for 200 yards in four of the last six games and has only accounted for nine touchdowns in those games. Next year may be a different story, but Newton appears ready to throw in the towel on 2016.

Matt Cassel (QB, TEN) - You have to be a special kind of crazy to spend salary in DFS or take a chance plugging in Cassel for this week, even in a consolation game. The Texans allow the third-fewest fantasy points to QBs this season, making this a tough matchup regardless of who is behind center for Tennessee. Cassel was mediocre last week in relief of the injured Marcus Mariota, completed 13 of 24 passes for 124 yards, one TD and one INT. He's finished with a completion percentage under 60% in six of the last seven seasons with just three more TD than INT during that span (78/75). Believe it or not, even Landry Jones qualifies as a better option. It would have been nice to see Cassel back in the playoffs, though.

Jay Ajayi (RB, MIA) - Let's just put that last 200-yard rushing performance out of our minds for this week. Ajayi proved he is no flash in the pan, but Week 17 presents a unique situation. The Dolphins are already set in the wild card game, with little incentive to push Ajayi beyond 15 carries. He also suffered a sprained AC joint last week, adding to the likelihood he won't stick around in the second half. The Patriots may rest some starters on defense too, but they aren't the type of team that will cede a huge game to any player regardless of circumstance. If you are in your league's championship game this week (again, why?), you may need to keep Ajayi in your lineup just in case. Otherwise, he is best avoided, especially in daily leagues. If he were playing Buffalo again, that would be a different story.

Michael Crabtree (WR, OAK) - Now that I've professed my love for Carr, you can imagine how low my expectations are for the Oakland receivers this week without him. Matt Mcgloin isn't the worst QB out there, but it's the Denver defense he'll be facing in Week 17. Mr. Crabs will square off against a perpetually angry Aqib Talib. Crabtree has been limited by his finger injury lately and the Raiders have already clinched a playoff spot, so don't expect them to try to light it up through the air with a backup QB against the best CB duo in the league. Don't mess with Talib.

Brandon Marshall (WR, NYJ) - I know I said I wouldn't do it again, but the truth must be spoken. Despite facing a Buffalo team that will be without its head coach, Marshall should be avoided this week. Swapping Bryce Petty out for Ryan Fitzpatrick hasn't done Marshall any favors. He only caught two balls for 28 yards, giving him a grand total of 10 in the last four weeks combined with no touchdowns to offset that lack of production. The Bills have given up the seventh fewest receiving yards this season, so don't expect this to be his redemption songs. At this point (meaning the last two months), you should probably be avoiding every Jets player not named Bilal Powell. Yup, that's 2016 for you.

Stefon Diggs (WR, MIN) - Last week, Diggs scored his first touchdown since Week 8 against the Bears. That's about the only positive that he has given fantasy owners over the last six weeks. Diggs hasn't gone over 60 yards and is averaging less than five receptions per game in that span. He currently has a hip injury and is doubtful to even play. Avoid as if he were... an offensive player for the Vikings.

Sterling Shepard (WR, NYG) - No OBJ, possibly no Manning in this game. That means little hope for Shepard finding open space to operate. The rookie has been coming on lately, scoring in three of the last four games and six of the last eight. Unfortunately, this is a case where one team desperately needs a victory (Washington) and the other couldn't care less. Shepard could find his way into the end zone, but if he doesn't then it will be a low point total this week. Still, it's been an excellent rookie year. Just imagine how high his ceiling will be next season with a little more experience and growth.

Mike Wallace (WR, BAL) - Wallace simply hasn't been a fantasy asset in the second half of the season. His last productive game was back in Week 9, which is also the last time he scored. Since then, Wallace hasn't topped 62 yards, including a 57-yard game against the Bengals. If the Ravens are going to complete passes against the second-best fantasy defense against WR, it will be to the retiring Steve Smith. Avoid Wallace, but definitely get Smith into your lineups this weekend.

Jason Witten (TE, DAL) - If anyone deserves a week off, it's Witten. His consecutive games streak stands at 162 and counting. He will surely play in order to keep the streak alive, but if the Boys are smart, he won't see the second half. Even so, he faces an Eagles team that allows the second-fewest points to tight ends and limited him to two catches for 16 yards earlier this year. At least he's one player who doesn't have to worry about job security in Dallas.