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NFL Free Agency: What The Hell Just Happened?

Well, this is why you don't take a nap on the first day of the league year.  You go to sleep in the afternoon, thinking the NFL is essentially stable, then all of a sudden the whole damn thing explodes and you're not really sure if you woke up or you're still having oddly specific trade dreams.

Since many of you are probably asking the same exact thing I did (what the hell just happened, am I still dreaming, is this real life/fantasy, etc) I'm going to try and break down the moves on what was a truly insane opening day for the 2015 league year.  For your convenience, this breakdown will include a scale rating from "predictable" to "WAIT THEY DID WHAT."

 

Saints Trade TE Jimmy Graham to Seahawks for C Max Unger, Picks Involved

Rating: It just broke.  So much for that.

This is the crown jewel of insane player movement.  There were some crazy trades today but this one truly takes the cake.  Since being drafted in the third round of the 2010 draft, Graham has posted 4,752 receiving yards and 51 touchdowns, which is an average of 950 yards and 10 touchdowns a season (give or take some decimals).  Graham put up one of the most dominant tight end seasons ever in 2013, going for 1,215 receiving yards and 16 touchdowns. While he fell behind Rob Gronkowski in 2014, he is still one of the top two options at a position that's becoming more and more important in the modern NFL.

This is probably the place where an asshole would say something along the lines of "oh good, now they can throw the ball from the 1-yard line again and it might work."  So, this works out for the Seahawks, since throwing the ball from the 1-yard line to Jimmy Graham will probably work.  Sarcasm aside, Graham gives Russell Wilson the type of receiving target he simply hasn't had in Seattle.  When playing at 100%, Graham is simply unstoppable up the middle, and he can line up anywhere on the line of scrimmage.  Saying the Seahawks just upgraded their passing attack is an understatement.  The Seahawks' aerial attack just took a quantum leap forward.

The Seahawks did have to pay a price for Graham's services, though, as they shipped two-time Pro Bowl center Unger and their 2015 first-round pick to New Orleans.  Unger missed most of the 2014 season to injury, playing only six games, but was widely regarded as a vital part of Seattle's offensive line.  The Saints, who suffered through a disappointing 7-9 season last season, should be excited to add a center of Unger's caliber, but the cost of acquiring him will probably keep Saints fans from celebrating too heavily.

 

Eagles Finalize LeSean McCoy Trade, Trade QB Nick Foles to Rams for QB Sam Bradford

Rating: WILDCARD, BITCHES!

Seriously, has anyone verified whether or not Chip Kelly is actually Charlie Kelly in disguise?  Because every move he's made this offseason seems like it needs to be accompanied by a cowboy hat and a bolo tie, and the moves are making Philadelphia fans feel like they've been trapped in a van without any brakes.

We discussed the McCoy-to-the-Bills trade previously, and the trade has gone final.  The Eagles followed up the McCoy trade by shipping Nick Foles to St. Louis in exchange for Sam Bradford, thus purging the team of its starting running back and quarterback in the span of a couple hours.

The Foles-for-Bradford trade is not without significant risk for Philadelphia, as Bradford's relationship with his knee ligaments is similar to Wile E. Coyote's relationship with ACME products: they usually explode on him.  However, when Bradford has been healthy, he has shown signs of being a solid NFL starter.  It will be interesting to see how the Eagles' offseason shakes out, and especially to see whether or not the Eagles try to make a move for Marcus Mariota in the draft.

 

Haloti Ngata Traded To Lions For Draft Picks

Rating: Perfectly understandable

Yeah, the Ravens weren't going to be able to afford to keep Ngata anyway, so they tried to recover some value in draft picks, receiving a fourth, fifth, and seventh round pick for the Pro Bowl nose tackle.  The Lions needed to recover after losing Ndamukong Suh to free agency, so this trade kind of worked out for everybody.

The first day of the NFL year was crazy, and we haven't even touched the free agency signings.  Tune in tomorrow when we cover who went where on new contracts.

 

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