RADIO
You're saying there was an NFL game on Sunday? Huh. Did I get fantasy points for it? No? Okay, moving on then.
Yesterday was National Signing Day, which is kind of like college football's version of the draft. Except if the players got to choose where they went. And without any sort of "pick order." And if the booing fans weren't just unruly Jets fans, but instead included any nutjob with a Twitter handle who thinks it's okay to call a 17-year-old a "dirty coward" because he decided he liked another school's coach or campus or coeds better.
All this mayhem means that following signings online is kind of like walking through Arkham Asylum for 12 hours, only when you get to the "ultra-mega-maximum-super-dee-duper security" cell, it's not the Joker scribbling "HAHAHAHA" all over the walls in lipstick or whatever, but rather Nick Saban scrawling "THE PROCESS" all over the walls in goat's blood. So let's keep our valuables close and our Twitter apps very far away as we dive right in.
Seriously. Close your damn Twitter account. I'm not gonna be the reason some kid catches a DM full of death threats.
Theme of the Day: The Rich Get Richer
Alabama once again had the top-ranked class after all was said and done for 2015 (that sound you hear is the Tide claiming another championship), followed closely by USC and Florida State. USC is the only one of those schools without a national championship in this decade-- their last title came 10 11 years ago. (Forgot I was supposed to forget one of those there.) Alabama led the charge with about six five-star prospects, give or take. USC and Florida State added four of their own five-star prospects for consideration. All told, Alabama and Florida State look primed to make more playoff runs in the near future, and USC's return to dominance on the recruiting trail has Trojan faithful hoping for a return to dominance on the field, as well.
Five-Star Quarterbacks Make Waves
UCLA and Texas A&M fans should be very happy today, as both schools managed to land prized in-state prospects to headline their 2015 classes. The Aggies today cemented dual-threat QB Kyler Murray's commitment after a crazy final week of visits that included Murray tweeting a picture of a personalized University of Texas jersey. Murray was one of the quarterbacks considered the best in the country, and landing him should be a shot in the arm for a program that struggled under center after the departure of Johnny Manziel.
UCLA's Josh Rosen was the other quarterback considered the number one prospect, though mercifully for Bruins fans, Rosen's recruitment didn't end up a down-to-the-wire battle with a bitter in-state rival-- he's been enrolled since January. With the talent he brings and his early enrollment, it wouldn't be surprising to see Rosen starting under center in place of the departed Brett Hundley come late August.
Baylor's newest QB, Jarrett Stidham, caused waves of his own when he decommitted from Texas Tech in favor of Baylor in January. Stidham inherits one of the most potent offenses in college football and a forgiving schedule should he start right away.
Finally, Alabama signed another five-star QB from in state, but let's be real: there were about 8,000 more passes thrown to Amari Cooper than anyone else on the roster last year, and now Cooper is gone. Get ready to hear things like "Blake Barnett is just so efficient," about 8,000 more times over the next four years.
Ohio State Lands Torrance Gibson
After Ohio State's improbable, unprecedented run to the national championship behind third-stringer Cardale Jones, many wondered if the four-star quarterback from Florida would stay committed to the Buckeyes or look elsewhere considering the ludicrous depth the reigning national champs have at the position. Gibson took official visits to schools such as LSU and Miami (FL), thus stoking the rumor mill a bit, but ultimately stuck with Ohio State.
Ohio State also got a commitment from Athens (OH) quarterback Joe Burrow, who threw 63 touchdowns and just two picks in his senior season, further contributing to Coach Meyer's new strategy of "what if everyone on the roster was a quarterback?"
And in case you were wondering if typing those last couple paragraphs had me grinning smugly like an asshole, you were one hundred percent correct. Good on you.
Sadly, with Signing Day done and over with, there is no more college football until August, so I'm gonna go huddle in a corner and cry for 6 months. See ya!
