You've read about all the sleepers, waiver wire pickups and starter suggestions based on matchups. Now let me burst some bubbles and tell you who I think is going to bust big time in Week 12.

This isn't to troll or spread hate - that's what those political sites are for. Think of this as a public service for fanboys and truth deniers who insist that everything is going to be alright, when it's clearly not. If you don't believe me, just ask the general public on Twitter. They know everything.

Warning: while the picks made in this article are completely serious, you may find sarcastic humor laced throughout. If you don't have any sense of humor whatsoever, turn back now before you get all worked up.

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Week 11 Recap

It would be way too obvious to refer to last week's bust picks as "turkeys" just to force a Thanksgiving reference. Not everybody is eating turkey this week, you know. Let's go the Charlie Brown route instead.

 

Amari Cooper (4 REC, 57 YDS, 1 TD)
Doug Baldwin (4 REC, 104 YDS, 1 PASS TD) yes, he threw a TD to Russell Wilson

 

 

 

Jared Goff (134 YDS, 0 TD)
Carson Wentz (218 YDS, 2 TD, 2 INT)
Sam Bradford (169 YDS, 1 TD)
Paul Perkins (16 RUSH YDS, 19 REC YDS, 0 TD)
Carlos Hyde (86 YDS, 0 TD)
Jarvis Landry (5 REC, 28 YDS, 1 TD)
Jordy Nelson (3 REC, 28 YDS, 1 TD)
Jason Witten (5 REC, 37 YDS, 0 TD)

 
 
 
 

We're officially back on track with only two picks qualifying as non-busts. Sure, Landry and Nelson reached the end zone, but 28 yards receiving still hampered their value in most leagues. If you saw Landry's score, the offensive line should get credit for that touchdown anyway as they practically threw him into the end zone. Now, let's see which players will go over worse than Aunt Maybelle's leftover mystery casserole this holiday weekend.

 
 

Top 10 Busts for Week 12

Tyrod Taylor (QB, BUF) - Is there a healthy receiver in the house? The Bills are looking forward to the return of star receiver Sammy Watkins, but that probably won't happen until Week 13. Meanwhile, Robert Woods is out with a knee injury and Marquise Goodwin has been in and out of the lineup this year with concussion issues. LeSean McCoy has a thumb issue as well, but should suit up for the game against Jacksonville. Buffalo shouldn't have trouble running the ball, which means Taylor will do a lot of handing off and not much passing to rack up fantasy points. Don't expect Rex Ryan to have sympathy for your fantasy team, though. Unless he's coaching it.

 
 
Jeremy Hill (RB, CIN) - Gio Bernard is out, which means Hill has to carry the load. This may sound good for his fantasy prospects as his carry count will see a huge uptick, but that may not translate into immediate success. The Ravens are the second-stingiest team against running backs this season. Ezekiel Elliott managed 97 yards against them last week, but it took him 25 carries, marking his lowest Y/A since Week 1. Hill is a complete non-factor in the passing game and won't be taking anybody by surprise as the only threat in the backfield for Cincinnati. He is a TD-dependent RB2 this week - don't overpay for him or scramble to put him in your lineups. Unless you're just the overly optimistic type.

 
 
Isaiah Crowell (RB, CLE) - Crowell has pretty much been a bust since Week 4. In the last seven games, he hasn't surpassed 80 total yards in a game. The Browns don't even seem to be trying to run the ball any more. Crowell has failed to carry the ball 10 times in the last three games, probably because he is averaging 2.45 yards per carry in those last seven contests. Against the suddenly juggernaut Giants, Cleveland should be facing a deficit early, which will force the Browns to go pass-heavy once again. Forget his surprising early season success, Crowell is looking downright droppable in standard leagues. Poor Browns... you almost have to feel bad for them. Almost.

 
 
Devonta Freeman (RB, ATL) - An Arizona team known for its defense is giving up a ton of points lately, letting the likes of Minnesota, San Francisco and Carolina rack up 80 points in their last three games. However, that hasn't come on the ground as the Cards still rank first in restricting fantasy points allowed to RB. The return of Tevin Coleman to the lineup may cut into Freeman's touches as well. Downgrade Freeman to lower-end RB2 status this week. As if you hadn't already. Remember last year's Devonta Freeman? He was good.

 
 
Jordan Howard (RB, CHI) - Believe it or not, having Matt Barkley behind center isn't going to help Howard one bit. The Bears are also without their top two WR, starting TE and potentially starting guard Josh Sitton too. It will be a surprise to see the Bears muster anything in the passing game, so Howard's stock will likely suffer as a result. Sure, they'll want to hand the ball off a ton, but opponents like Tennessee will be ready for that. He's been explosive at times, posting four 100-yard rushing games, but he's also gone for three games under 50 yards as a starter. It will be tough sledding for Howard this week - consider other options until the Bears have a supporting cast that resembles an NFL squad.

 
 
Doug Martin (RB, TB) - It's a relief to see Martin back after seven long weeks without him. Before you get too excited, you may want to check the stat line though. Martin is averaging a paltry 2.8 yards per carry this season in 65 attempts. He wasn't very effective in the two games before his injury (25 carries for 85 yards) and hasn't been much better in the two games since returning (40 carries for 96 yards). Facing the Seahawks defense won't help in Week 12. Hopefully you have better options, because Martin is downright benchable this week. He'll be a solid play the rest of the season, but don't get carried away.

 
 
DeAndre Hopkins (WR, HOU) - Yes, he should have had a long touchdown last week if not for a premature whistle. It's time to get over that and accept the fact he's been a massive disappointment this season. It's not his fault really (cough cough, Brock Osweiler), but that doesn't make him any more valuable to fantasy owners. Hopkins has only topped 60 receiving yards twice all year and hasn't scored since Week 5. He will be shadowed by Casey Hayward on Sunday, who has been a pleasant surprise since coming over from Green Bay with five interceptions. Expect another day on the dark side for the Pro Bowl wideout.

 
 
Tavon Austin (WR, LA) - Consistency has never been Austin's calling card, but to start him this week would truly be a shot in the dark. Jared Goff only targeted him twice last week, marking the second time in three weeks he's gotten that amount. Since his 10 catch outburst in Week 7, Austin has a total of four catches in the last three games. The Saints are thought to be a horrible defensive team, but they have improved their red zone defense. In the last three games, they are actually third-best at preventing touchdowns in the red zone. Austin has the speed to break a big play at any time, but if he isn't getting targeted, it can't happen.

 
 
Willie Snead (WR, NO) - New Orleans at home? Sign me up! Of course, all their skill players can't score, so we have to decide who has the best chance at success. Snead draws impressive young CB Lamarcus Joyner in the slot and could be in for a long day. The last five weeks Snead has seen his targets continue to drop (11, 8, 7, 7, 5) and hasn't been a big factor other than his two-TD performance against the Broncos. He simply isn't producing if he isn't scoring, making him a TD-dependent WR3, even at home.

 
 
Jared Cook (TE, GB) - Cook emerged from hibernation last week to post one of the best games of his career after missing seven weeks with injury. Cook entered Week 11 with three 100-yard games in his eight year career and a total of 53 yards this entire season in Green Bay. He came away with six catches for 105 yards and a touchdown and has become a trendy streamer this week. Here's the rub: the Eagles allow the third-fewest fantasy points per game to tight ends and won't break down in containment the way Washington did in last week's shootout. The Packers spread the ball around too much to depend on a TE that just now is deciding to be a part of the offense.