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NFL Recap - Week 11 Surprises, Busts & Laughers

The NFL has long prided itself on the parity of its league - how any team is no more than a few moves away from a Super Bowl championship. And that parity has never been more obvious than it is this year. Eighteen teams are sitting at .500 or within one game of that mark, and .500 is currently good enough to be a division leader (looking at you AFC North).

Since Thanksgiving is right around the corner, and since so many teams are in contention for a playoff spot, we're going to be swinging around the league and taking a look at what some of the teams in the NFL should be thankful for this Thursday.

Editor's Note: New users that sign up on FantasyAces, make a $20 deposit, and enter any game will receive our full season NFL (or NBA) Premium Pass for free, a $59.99 value. Just email [email protected] with your new FantasyAces username - and boom, that's it! We will email you with your Premium pass.

 

It's Almost Thanksgiving... What Just Happened

The Houston Texans should be thankful the Titans can't beat the Colts.

Houston has a one-game lead on the Colts and the Titans in the division despite their Monday Night loss to the Raiders, and their noticeable lack of offense. The Texans somehow lost to the Raiders despite holding Oakland to 30 yards rushing - and Latavius Murray had 33 of those. Realistically, the "somehow" is that Derek Carr is rapidly becoming one of the NFL's best young quarterbacks, and he led the Raiders to victory with two fourth-quarter touchdowns, although I much prefer thinking that Houston got beat by Carr because they ruined his older brother and decided not to draft him in 2014 when they knew damn well they needed a quarterback desperately. The universe refuses to let that much irony go by without being acted upon.

Fortunately for the Texans, even the universe's love of poetically appropriate defeat wasn't enough to unseat them from the top of the AFC South. With the Colts' defeat of the Titans, both teams are 5-5. The Titans' record against the Colts seems to indicate not that they are the Colts' divisional rivals, but more that the Colts bought them from Curly in cell block D for a carton of smokes.

 

The Steelers and Ravens should be thankful they don't play in another division.

The AFC North is putting up a spirited challenge against the AFC South in the "worst division in the NFL" competition this year.  Both divisions have two 5-5 teams in them, but it's only in the North where that's a good enough mark to be winning the division.  The Steelers can't decide if they're gonna be good or bad from week to week, and aside from "Elite" Joe Flacco and Steve "Methuselah" Smith, the Ravens have no one on offense whose name I can even remember.  One of these teams will make the playoffs, especially since the Bengals just lost AJ Green and the Browns are Brownsing harder than they've ever Brownsed before. But it's not looking good for them against the Patriots or Raiders.

 

The Cowboys should be thankful that they nailed this draft so hard, I mean goddamn...

The Ravens contained Zeke Elliott this week (he only had 127 yards of offense) so the Cowboys turned to their other rookie phenomenon, and Dak Prescott delivered, going 27-of-36 for 301 yards and three touchdowns.  It's honestly absurd that a Jerry Jones draft has turned out this well.  Someone may want to check and make sure that they didn't make some sort of weird parallel universe wormhole at CERN or something.  Just enjoy it while you can, America, because if the *Cowboys* win a Super Bowl with two rookie stars, it'll be 20 years before we stop thinking about Dallas as "that place we all want to burn to the fucking ground."

 

We should all be thankful that the Cowboys, Redskins, and Seahawks provided watchable football this weekend.

Dolphins 14 - Rams 10.

Bills 16 - Bengals 12.

Buccaneers 19 - Chiefs 17.

There were plenty of bad games this weekend, but the Seahawks' strangling of the Eagles, the Cowboys' Dak Attack against the Ravens, and the Redskins' detonation of the Packers all provided memorable, entertaining football this weekend while the 5-5 teams all duked it out to sort out the massive cesspit that will be the draft's 6th through 18th picks.

The Dolphins' offense was largely nonexistent until the Rams decided they didn't want to football anymore. Everyone on the field got hurt during the Bills' and Bengals' field goal-fest, and the Chiefs' offense struggled in the red zone yet again, but the evening games gave us an opportunity to wash the taste of stale offense out of our mouths.  Second half Russell Wilson struck again in the Battle of Bird-Based Supremacy.  Rob Kelley shredded the Packers for three touchdowns.  Technically, so did Kirk Cousins, but I don't know of any R&B singer named K. Cousins that provides easy material for making fun of defenses with, so Kelley gets the credit for pissing all over the Packers' hopes and dreams.




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REAL-TIME FANTASY NEWS

LaMelo Ball

Upgraded to Probable for Thursday
Trae Young

Will Play Thursday Against the Hornets
Christian Watson

Questionable for Week 16
Gabe Vincent

Will Miss at Least a Week
Josh Jacobs

Listed as Questionable for Saturday Night
T.J. Watt

Unlikely to Play in Week 16
D'Andre Swift

Questionable to Face the Packers
Rome Odunze

Ruled Out for Week 16
Jawhar Jordan

Could be in for Significant Workload Against Raiders
Rome Odunze

Expected to Miss Third Straight Game
CFB

Beau Pribula Set to Enter Transfer Portal
Josh Jacobs

Expected to Play in Week 16
Sebastian Aho

Leads Hurricanes to Victory With Three-Point Period
Joel Hofer

Notches Third Shutout of the Season
Jordan Martinook

Sustains Lower-Body Injury
Puka Nacua

Brother Charged With Stealing NBA Player's SUV
Jonathan Marchessault

Exits Early Wednesday
Evan Rodrigues

Suffers Lower-Body Injury Wednesday
Lars Eller

to Miss at Least Three More Weeks
Thomas Chabot

Remains Out Thursday
Jrue Holiday

Remains Out Thursday
Khris Middleton

Unavailable Against Spurs
Bilal Coulibaly

Back From Four-Game Absence Thursday
Collin Sexton

Out on Thursday
Tari Eason

Remains Questionable on Injury Report
Dennis Schröder

Dennis Schroder Questionable for Thursday
Grayson Allen

Could Miss Clash Against Warriors
Deandre Ayton

May Skip Meeting With Jazz
Cole Anthony

Iffy for Thursday's Action
AJ Green

at Risk of Missing Another Game
Peyton Watson

Questionable for Thursday
Kyle Kuzma

Questionable for Thursday Due to Illness
Tim Hardaway Jr.

Questionable With Illness
Lauri Markkanen

Picks Up Questionable Tag Ahead of Thursday
Tristan da Silva

Questionable for Thursday
Pelle Larsson

Misses Second Straight Game
Nikola Jović

Nikola Jovic Unavailable Against Nets
Pat Spencer

Ruled Out for Thursday
Bo Bichette

Willing to Make the Move to Second Base
Davante Adams

Doubtful to Play Thursday Night
Matthew Tkachuk

Status Uncertain for Winter Classic
Tyson Foerster

Ruled Out for Five Months
Quinton Byfield

Back From One-Game Absence Wednesday
Gustav Forsling

Available Against Kings
Pavel Dorofeyev

Good to Go Wednesday
Shea Theodore

Out Against Devils
Jack Eichel

Misses First Game of the Season Wednesday
Brett Pesce

Back in Action Wednesday
Devin Neal

Ruled Out for Sunday
Christian Watson

"Should be Good" to Face the Bears on Saturday
Geno Smith

has "a Good Chance" to Return in Week 16
Saquon Barkley

Back at Practice on Wednesday
Brady Cook

Will Start Again in Week 16
Patrick Mahomes

Rehabbing ACL, LCL Tears
Rashee Rice

Won't Practice Due to Concussion
Marvin Harrison Jr.

to Take Part in Wednesday's Walkthrough Practice
Drake London

Day-to-Day, Will Practice on Wednesday
CFB

Jeremiyah Love Officially Heading to NFL Draft
Quinn Ewers

Making First Career Start in Week 16
Tua Tagovailoa

Being Benched by Dolphins
CFB

Jake Merklinger Leaving Tennessee for Transfer Portal
Thatcher Demko

Shuts Out Rangers With 23 Saves
Macklin Celebrini

Notches Four Points in Tuesday's Win
Leon Draisaitl

Reaches Special Milestone During Four-Point Night
Shea Theodore

Questionable for Wednesday Night
Jack Eichel

Battling Illness
Darcy Kuemper

Placed on Injured Reserve
Mike Trout

Angels Open to Mike Trout Playing Center Field in 2026
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Kansas State's Jayce Brown Intends to Transfer
CFB

Nation's Leading Passer Drew Mestemaker to Enter Transfer Portal
Justin Crawford

Phillies Planning to Start Justin Crawford in Center Field
CFB

Jayden Maiava Signs New Deal to Return to USC
CFB

Aidan Mizell Won't Return to Florida, Entering Transfer Portal
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East Carolina Targeting Jordan Davis as Next Offensive Coordinator
CFB

Michigan QB Jadyn Davis Set to Enter Transfer Portal
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Travis Williams Joining Texas A&M Defensive Staff
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Dylan Raiola Entering His Name into Transfer Portal
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Cincinnati's Brendan Sorsby Plans to Transfer When Portal Opens
Adolis García

Adolis Garcia, Phillies Finalizing One-Year Deal on Monday
Brandon Royval

Suffers First-Round TKO Loss
CFB

Baylor, LSU, Miami Among Potential Suitors for DJ Lagway
CFB

Aidan Chiles Will Enter Transfer Portal
Manel Kape

Shines At UFC Vegas 112
Kevin Vallejos

Gets Second-Round Knockout Win
Giga Chikadze

Suffers His First Career Knockout Loss
CFB

Quarterback DJ Lagway Entering Transfer Portal
Cesar Almeida

Gets Dominated
Cezary Oleksiejczuk

Wins Sixth Fight In A Row
Morgan Charrière

Morgan Charriere Suffers First-Round Knockout Loss
Melquizael Costa

Gets First-Round Knockout Win
Marcus Buchecha

Still Winless In The UFC
Kennedy Nzechukwu

And Marcus Buchecha Fight To Draw
Lance Gibson jr

Lance Gibson Jr. Drops Decision In His UFC Debut
King Green

Gets Back In The Win Column
Kenley Jansen

Agrees to One-Year Deal With Tigers
Merrill Kelly

Returns to Diamondbacks on Two-Year Deal
Jorge Polanco

Agrees to Two-Year Deal With Mets
CFB

LaNorris Sellers to Return to South Carolina in 2026
CFB

Washington State Expected to Hire Kirby Moore as Next Head Coach

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