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NFL Recap - Week 11 Surprises, Busts & Laughers

The NFL has long prided itself on the parity of its league - how any team is no more than a few moves away from a Super Bowl championship. And that parity has never been more obvious than it is this year. Eighteen teams are sitting at .500 or within one game of that mark, and .500 is currently good enough to be a division leader (looking at you AFC North).

Since Thanksgiving is right around the corner, and since so many teams are in contention for a playoff spot, we're going to be swinging around the league and taking a look at what some of the teams in the NFL should be thankful for this Thursday.

Editor's Note: New users that sign up on FantasyAces, make a $20 deposit, and enter any game will receive our full season NFL (or NBA) Premium Pass for free, a $59.99 value. Just email [email protected] with your new FantasyAces username - and boom, that's it! We will email you with your Premium pass.

Editor's Note: The FFPC Playoff Challenge is back with a massive $500,000 grand prize and $1.35 million total prize pool, paying down to 800th place. Here's the deal: no salary cap, no draft, no pickups, no subs. Choose 10 players, and as NFL teams get knocked out so will your players, so choose your team wisely. The 7,250 entries will sell out quickly, and registrations will close on Saturday January 10th at 4:30 pm ET . Don't wait - get your team now and end your fantasy football season with a shot at $500,000! Sign Up Now!

 

It's Almost Thanksgiving... What Just Happened

The Houston Texans should be thankful the Titans can't beat the Colts.

Houston has a one-game lead on the Colts and the Titans in the division despite their Monday Night loss to the Raiders, and their noticeable lack of offense. The Texans somehow lost to the Raiders despite holding Oakland to 30 yards rushing - and Latavius Murray had 33 of those. Realistically, the "somehow" is that Derek Carr is rapidly becoming one of the NFL's best young quarterbacks, and he led the Raiders to victory with two fourth-quarter touchdowns, although I much prefer thinking that Houston got beat by Carr because they ruined his older brother and decided not to draft him in 2014 when they knew damn well they needed a quarterback desperately. The universe refuses to let that much irony go by without being acted upon.

Fortunately for the Texans, even the universe's love of poetically appropriate defeat wasn't enough to unseat them from the top of the AFC South. With the Colts' defeat of the Titans, both teams are 5-5. The Titans' record against the Colts seems to indicate not that they are the Colts' divisional rivals, but more that the Colts bought them from Curly in cell block D for a carton of smokes.

 

The Steelers and Ravens should be thankful they don't play in another division.

The AFC North is putting up a spirited challenge against the AFC South in the "worst division in the NFL" competition this year.  Both divisions have two 5-5 teams in them, but it's only in the North where that's a good enough mark to be winning the division.  The Steelers can't decide if they're gonna be good or bad from week to week, and aside from "Elite" Joe Flacco and Steve "Methuselah" Smith, the Ravens have no one on offense whose name I can even remember.  One of these teams will make the playoffs, especially since the Bengals just lost AJ Green and the Browns are Brownsing harder than they've ever Brownsed before. But it's not looking good for them against the Patriots or Raiders.

 

The Cowboys should be thankful that they nailed this draft so hard, I mean goddamn...

The Ravens contained Zeke Elliott this week (he only had 127 yards of offense) so the Cowboys turned to their other rookie phenomenon, and Dak Prescott delivered, going 27-of-36 for 301 yards and three touchdowns.  It's honestly absurd that a Jerry Jones draft has turned out this well.  Someone may want to check and make sure that they didn't make some sort of weird parallel universe wormhole at CERN or something.  Just enjoy it while you can, America, because if the *Cowboys* win a Super Bowl with two rookie stars, it'll be 20 years before we stop thinking about Dallas as "that place we all want to burn to the fucking ground."

 

We should all be thankful that the Cowboys, Redskins, and Seahawks provided watchable football this weekend.

Dolphins 14 - Rams 10.

Bills 16 - Bengals 12.

Buccaneers 19 - Chiefs 17.

There were plenty of bad games this weekend, but the Seahawks' strangling of the Eagles, the Cowboys' Dak Attack against the Ravens, and the Redskins' detonation of the Packers all provided memorable, entertaining football this weekend while the 5-5 teams all duked it out to sort out the massive cesspit that will be the draft's 6th through 18th picks.

The Dolphins' offense was largely nonexistent until the Rams decided they didn't want to football anymore. Everyone on the field got hurt during the Bills' and Bengals' field goal-fest, and the Chiefs' offense struggled in the red zone yet again, but the evening games gave us an opportunity to wash the taste of stale offense out of our mouths.  Second half Russell Wilson struck again in the Battle of Bird-Based Supremacy.  Rob Kelley shredded the Packers for three touchdowns.  Technically, so did Kirk Cousins, but I don't know of any R&B singer named K. Cousins that provides easy material for making fun of defenses with, so Kelley gets the credit for pissing all over the Packers' hopes and dreams.




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REAL-TIME FANTASY NEWS

Matthew Stafford

has "Little Sprain," Should be "Good to Go"
CFB

Sam Leavitt Expected to Sign with LSU
Green Bay Packers

Packers Expected to Work Out New Deal With Matt LaFleur in the "Coming Days"
CFB

Dylan Raiola Commits to Oregon
CFB

Isaiah Horton Landing with Texas A&M
Jet Greaves

Beats Mammoth With 25 Saves
Roman Josi

Ends Dry Spell With Three-Point Effort
Joonas Korpisalo

Shuts Door on Penguins
Jack Hughes

Has Two Helpers in Losing Effort
Tomas Hertl

Matches Vegas Record With Five Points
Justin Sourdif

Exits With Injury Versus Predators
Denton Mateychuk

Sustains Upper-Body Injury Sunday
George Kittle

Suffers Torn Achilles on Sunday
Aaron Holiday

is Moving into Starting Five
Aaron Gordon

is Available on Sunday
Christian Braun

is Downgraded to Out
Jamal Murray

is Unavailable on Sunday
Omarion Hampton

Active for Wild-Card Round Against Patriots
Kristaps Porzingis

Won't Play on Sunday
Kevin Porter Jr.

is Available to Play on Sunday
Christian Braun

Downgraded to Questionable on Sunday
Tyler Herro

to Suit Up on Sunday
Norman Powell

Ruled Out for Sunday's Game
Victor Wembanyama

Cleared for Sunday
George Kittle

Ruled Out After Non-Contact Achilles Injury
Cole Perfetti

Contributes Two Assists in Sunday's Win
Carl Grundstrom

Misses Sunday's Practice
Jrue Holiday

Cleared to Suit Up Versus New York
Las Vegas Raiders

Raiders Request Interview With Ejiro Evero
Josh Hart

Returning on Sunday Night
Travis Konecny

Hurt at Sunday's Practice
Thatcher Demko

Lands on Injured Reserve
Colin Miller

Injured Versus Devils
Bryan Rust

Remains Out Sunday
Morgan Geekie

Won't Play Sunday
Los Angeles Rams

Mike LaFleur to Interview With Raiders and Cardinals
Aaron Rodgers

Steelers Open to Re-Signing Aaron Rodgers?
Matthew Stafford

X-Rays Come Back Negative
Mark Stone

Extends Goal Streak With Empty-Netter
Nikita Kucherov

Has Four-Point Outing Saturday
David Pastrnak

Records Six Assists in Big Win
Stefan Noesen

to Have Knee Surgery
Carter Hart

Out Week-to-Week
Thatcher Demko

Exits With Injury Saturday
MacKenzie Gore

Yankees Pursuing Trade for MacKenzie Gore
Philip Broberg

Suffers Upper-Body Injury Saturday
Alex Bregman

Cubs Sign Alex Bregman to Five-Year, $175 Millon Contract
Chet Holmgren

Available Sunday
Dennis Schröder

Dennis Schroder Suspended for Three Games for Attempting to Strike Another Player
Kristaps Porzingis

May Return Sunday
Zaccharie Risacher

to Miss Second Consecutive Game Sunday
Kevin Porter Jr.

Considered Probable for Sunday
Aaron Gordon

Likely to Play Sunday
Christian Braun

Considered Probable for Sunday
Spencer Jones

May Miss Another Game Sunday
Jamal Murray

Iffy for Sunday's Action
Freddie Freeman

Withdraws from World Baseball Classic
Max Kepler

Receives 80-Game PED Suspension
CFB

Cam Coleman Visiting Alabama on Friday
Omarion Hampton

Expects to Play Sunday Night
CFB

Eric Singleton Jr. Enters Transfer Portal, Trending to Land at Florida
CFB

NCAA Denies Trinidad Chambliss a Sixth Year of Eligibility
Omarion Hampton

Questionable for Wild-Card Weekend
Kyle Tucker

Mets Remain in Mix for Kyle Tucker
Ketel Marte

Will Remain With Diamondbacks
Rashee Rice

to be Reviewed Under League's Conduct Policy
Daniel Jones

Colts Plan to Re-Sign Daniel Jones
Davante Adams

Off the Injury Report, Will Play Against Carolina
Bo Bichette

Phillies to Meet With Bo Bichette
Rome Odunze

Will Return for Wild-Card Game on Saturday
CFB

DJ Lagway Commits to Baylor
Miami Dolphins

Dolphins Fire Head Coach Mike McDaniel
Sam LaPorta

Plans to be Back for Training Camp
Owen Caissie

Shipped to Miami as Centerpiece of Trade
Edward Cabrera

Cubs Officially Acquire Edward Cabrera From Marlins
Rome Odunze

Plans to Play on Saturday
Edward Cabrera

Cubs Finalizing Deal to Acquire Edward Cabrera From Marlins
New York Giants

Giants "All-In" on Hiring John Harbaugh
CFB

Jackson Arnold Signs with UNLV
CFB

Sam Leavitt Scheduled to Visit Tennessee
New York Giants

John Harbaugh Expected to be Favorite to Become New Giants Head Coach
Baltimore Ravens

John Harbaugh Won't Return as Ravens Head Coach
Bo Bichette

Unlikely to Return to Toronto?
CFB

Jadan Baugh Staying with Florida for Junior Season

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