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NFL Recap - Week 11 Surprises, Busts & Laughers

The NFL has long prided itself on the parity of its league - how any team is no more than a few moves away from a Super Bowl championship. And that parity has never been more obvious than it is this year. Eighteen teams are sitting at .500 or within one game of that mark, and .500 is currently good enough to be a division leader (looking at you AFC North).

Since Thanksgiving is right around the corner, and since so many teams are in contention for a playoff spot, we're going to be swinging around the league and taking a look at what some of the teams in the NFL should be thankful for this Thursday.

Editor's Note: New users that sign up on FantasyAces, make a $20 deposit, and enter any game will receive our full season NFL (or NBA) Premium Pass for free, a $59.99 value. Just email [email protected] with your new FantasyAces username - and boom, that's it! We will email you with your Premium pass.

 

It's Almost Thanksgiving... What Just Happened

The Houston Texans should be thankful the Titans can't beat the Colts.

Houston has a one-game lead on the Colts and the Titans in the division despite their Monday Night loss to the Raiders, and their noticeable lack of offense. The Texans somehow lost to the Raiders despite holding Oakland to 30 yards rushing - and Latavius Murray had 33 of those. Realistically, the "somehow" is that Derek Carr is rapidly becoming one of the NFL's best young quarterbacks, and he led the Raiders to victory with two fourth-quarter touchdowns, although I much prefer thinking that Houston got beat by Carr because they ruined his older brother and decided not to draft him in 2014 when they knew damn well they needed a quarterback desperately. The universe refuses to let that much irony go by without being acted upon.

Fortunately for the Texans, even the universe's love of poetically appropriate defeat wasn't enough to unseat them from the top of the AFC South. With the Colts' defeat of the Titans, both teams are 5-5. The Titans' record against the Colts seems to indicate not that they are the Colts' divisional rivals, but more that the Colts bought them from Curly in cell block D for a carton of smokes.

 

The Steelers and Ravens should be thankful they don't play in another division.

The AFC North is putting up a spirited challenge against the AFC South in the "worst division in the NFL" competition this year.  Both divisions have two 5-5 teams in them, but it's only in the North where that's a good enough mark to be winning the division.  The Steelers can't decide if they're gonna be good or bad from week to week, and aside from "Elite" Joe Flacco and Steve "Methuselah" Smith, the Ravens have no one on offense whose name I can even remember.  One of these teams will make the playoffs, especially since the Bengals just lost AJ Green and the Browns are Brownsing harder than they've ever Brownsed before. But it's not looking good for them against the Patriots or Raiders.

 

The Cowboys should be thankful that they nailed this draft so hard, I mean goddamn...

The Ravens contained Zeke Elliott this week (he only had 127 yards of offense) so the Cowboys turned to their other rookie phenomenon, and Dak Prescott delivered, going 27-of-36 for 301 yards and three touchdowns.  It's honestly absurd that a Jerry Jones draft has turned out this well.  Someone may want to check and make sure that they didn't make some sort of weird parallel universe wormhole at CERN or something.  Just enjoy it while you can, America, because if the *Cowboys* win a Super Bowl with two rookie stars, it'll be 20 years before we stop thinking about Dallas as "that place we all want to burn to the fucking ground."

 

We should all be thankful that the Cowboys, Redskins, and Seahawks provided watchable football this weekend.

Dolphins 14 - Rams 10.

Bills 16 - Bengals 12.

Buccaneers 19 - Chiefs 17.

There were plenty of bad games this weekend, but the Seahawks' strangling of the Eagles, the Cowboys' Dak Attack against the Ravens, and the Redskins' detonation of the Packers all provided memorable, entertaining football this weekend while the 5-5 teams all duked it out to sort out the massive cesspit that will be the draft's 6th through 18th picks.

The Dolphins' offense was largely nonexistent until the Rams decided they didn't want to football anymore. Everyone on the field got hurt during the Bills' and Bengals' field goal-fest, and the Chiefs' offense struggled in the red zone yet again, but the evening games gave us an opportunity to wash the taste of stale offense out of our mouths.  Second half Russell Wilson struck again in the Battle of Bird-Based Supremacy.  Rob Kelley shredded the Packers for three touchdowns.  Technically, so did Kirk Cousins, but I don't know of any R&B singer named K. Cousins that provides easy material for making fun of defenses with, so Kelley gets the credit for pissing all over the Packers' hopes and dreams.




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REAL-TIME FANTASY NEWS

Travis Etienne Jr.

Needs to Bounce Back in 2025
Wan'Dale Robinson

Wants More Downfield Opportunities this Season
Quinshon Judkins

Arrested on Saturday for Battery and Domestic Violence
Terry McLaurin

Could be a Holdout at Training Camp
Roger McCreary

a Candidate for a Contract Extension?
Max Fried

Exits Start With Blister
Mike Evans

Buccaneers Could Have Difficult Time Retaining Mike Evans
Charles Cross

Could Sign Extension Before Training Camp
Xavier Restrepo

One to Watch Going into Training Camp
Calvin Ridley

Appears Re-Energized
Mark Andrews

Still a Key Piece in Ravens Offense
Ndamukong Suh

Officially Announces his Retirement
Jaylen Waddle

Motivated After Disappointing Season
Tre Harris

Still Unsigned
Hunter Dobbins

to Miss Rest of Season With Torn ACL
Nolan Arenado

Held Out of Lineup on Saturday
Alexandre Sarr

Plays Well in Summer League Loss to Phoenix
Yang Hansen

Looks Good on Friday Night
Carlos Correa

Sitting on Saturday
Austin Riley

Placed on 10-Day Injured List
Nolan Arenado

Exits Friday's Contest With Sprained Finger
Jake Burger

Expects to Play on Saturday
Erik Karlsson

Open to Move Away From Pittsburgh
Zach Hyman

Hopes to be Ready for Start of Next Season
SJ

Jeff Skinner Joins Sharks on One-Year Contract
Wyatt Langford

Records Four-Hit Night
Cal Raleigh

Homers Twice, Drives in Five
Cody Bellinger

Swats Three Homers in Victory
Jake Burger

Leaves With Quad Discomfort on Friday
Carlos Correa

Exits Game With Mild Ankle Sprain
Edward Cabrera

Dealing with Posterior Elbow Discomfort
Austin Riley

Leaves Game Early on Friday With Abdominal Tightness
Kon Knueppel

Struggles in Summer League Win
Rafael Devers

Dealing With Back Inflammation
Walter Clayton Jr.

Plays Well on Friday Night
Cody Williams

Scores 21 Points in Summer League Loss
Kyle Filipowski

Leads the Way on Friday Night
Teoscar Hernández

Teoscar Hernandez Returning on Friday
Sauce Gardner

Wants to be Highest-Paid Cornerback
Rhamondre Stevenson

Heading into an Important Season
Minnesota Vikings

Josh Metellus, Vikings Have Mutual Interest in Extension
Tua Tagovailoa

2025 Could be Tua Tagovailoa's Last Season in Miami
Rashawn Slater

has "Full Confidence" a Deal Will Get Done
Byron Buxton

Returns on Friday
Isaiah Jackson

Signs Three-Year Extension
Jake Meyers

Placed on 10-Day Injured List With Calf Strain
Brandon Lowe

Placed on 10-Day Injured List With Oblique Tightness
Kodai Senga

Reinstated to Start on Friday
Alex Bregman

Officially Activated and Starting on Friday
Marvin Bagley III

Joining the Wizards
Herbert Jones

Signing Extension with Pelicans
Jacob Toppin

Returning to Hawks
Chicago Bears

Bears Extend General Manager Ryan Poles
Dalton Knecht

Avoids Serious Injury
MarShawn Lloyd

in a "Much Better Spot" Heading Into Training Camp
Javon Small

Signs Two-Way Deal
Dustin Hopkins

Browns Still Counting on Dustin Hopkins
Ryan Reaves

Traded to Sharks
Vladislav Kolyachonok

Moves to Dallas
Matt Dumba

Lands in Pittsburgh
Mackie Samoskevich

Re-Signs with Panthers on One-Year Deal
Josh Manson

Inks Two-Year Extension with Avalanche
EDM

Isaac Howard Signs Three-Year, Entry-Level Contract With Oilers
Tallison Teixeira

Set For His First UFC Main Event
Derrick Lewis

Set To Headline UFC Nashville
Gabriel Bonfim

Looks For His Third UFC Win
Stephen Thompson

Returns At UFC Nashville
Steve Garcia

Looks To Extend His Win Streak
Calvin Kattar

In Dire Need Of Victory
Morgan Charrière

Morgan Charriere A Favorite At UFC Nashville
Nate Landwehr

Aims To Bounce Back
MMA

Austen Lane Looks To Get Back In The Win Column
Vitor Petrino

Set For His Heavyweight Debut
Tuco Tokkos

Set To Open Up UFC Nashville Main Card
Junior Tafa

Set For Light-Heavyweight Bout
Jalen Williams

Signs Contract Extension With Thunder
Alijah Martin

Agrees to Two-Way Deal With Raptors
Tristan Vukcevic

Set to Return to Washington
Anfernee Simons

Celtics Are "Actively Trying to Trade" Anfernee Simons
NBA

Alex Ducas Heading to Australia
Dominick Barlow

Inks Two-Way Deal With 76ers
Jordan McLaughlin

Spurs Re-Sign Jordan McLaughlin to One-Year Deal
Dylan Harper

Out Thursday, Expected to Play Saturday
VJ Edgecombe

Diagnosed with a Sprained Thumb
Gary Woodland

Looking to Find Rhythm at Scottish Open
Aaron Rai

Brings Consistent Play to Scottish Open
Maverick McNealy

a Solid Value Play at Scottish Open
Aldrich Potgieter

Making Scottish Open Debut
Tom Kim

Looks to Rebound at Scottish Open
Brian Harman

a Safe Option at Scottish Open
Luke Clanton

a Sneaky Value Play at Scottish Open
Sam Burns

Looking to Stay Hot at Scottish Open
Nicolai Hojgaard

May Feel More at Home in Europe
Harry Hall

Showing Fine Form Heading to Scotland
Ryan Fox

Playing Well Since Early Spring Struggles
Max Greyserman

has Solid History at the Genesis Scottish Open
Harris English

Aims High for Scotland Next
Corey Conners

Primed for the Genesis Scottish Open
Daniel Brown

Attempts the Scottish Swing Again
Jacob Bridgeman

Needs Putter to Work at Genesis Scottish Open
Scottie Scheffler

Headlines Field at Genesis Scottish Open
Rory McIlroy

a Smart Play for Scottish Open
Adam Scott

Looking to Build on History at The Renaissance Club
NASCAR

Sepp Straka Not Likely to Find Momentum at Scottish Open
Justin Rose

Hopes Month Hiatus Helps Him Bounce Back at Scottish Open
NHL

Tyler Johnson Retires After 13 NHL Seasons
Jack McBain

Inks New Five-Year Deal with Mammoth
Cam York

Re-Signs with Flyers for Five Years
Jake Knapp

Fits the Mold for Success at The Renaissance Club
Ty Gibbs

Finishes Second at Chicago and Advances in In-Season Challenge
Alex Bowman

Defeats Bubba Wallace in In-Season Challenge, but Not Without Controversy
Alex Bowman

Bubba Wallace Wrecked by Alex Bowman Again, Putting Playoffs in Doubt
Michael McDowell

Throttle Failure Ends Michael McDowell's Chances to Win at Chicago
Austin Hill

Earns First NASCAR Cup Series Top Ten at Chicago
Tyler Reddick

Scores a Strong Third-Place Run at Chicago
Kyle Busch

Matches his Best Career Finish At Chicago on Sunday
Denny Hamlin

Fights his Way to a Top-5 Finish at Chicago
William Byron

has his Worst Weekend of the Season at Chicago
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